a smile on my face.
heard my laughter,
how happy i am.

why is there a mask?
one that i put on.
to hide it from u perhaps,
that i m still very sad.

evertime i m alone,
those words came back to haunt me.
everytime when i see you,
the pain comes back again.

i have chosen not to forget,
chosen to love still.
a love tat cannot be expressed,
a love that is contained within me.

how i want to tell u the words again,
yet i cant say them.
how i wish we can be more than just friends,
yet nothing will ever change.

i can only dream, hope and wish,
but nothing is going to change.

Read more...

SP, after u told me what happen last time. I felt so damn cheated for u sia. I was so disgusted by that person la. ERPS.

Ok.. talk abt school.
Nth much to say. Chem and Econs lect were boring. SIAN! Then OP was ok. Today stayed till 8pm in school. For some reasons, raeger and I stayed back to watch SP's group do the OP. LOL.. so funny.. i think i was so distracting la. Its always either Marsh or SP clicking the slides.. so me.. being nottie, sat by the laptop then talked to them while they clicked. Then everytime forget to click.. or overshot.. haha!! Then kena scolded..lol :P

Anyway marsh.. told u liao right.. ur answers all the textbook style de..lol. But they are good and i appreciate them :D:D

I stayed late in school today cos i need company. If i go home.. i will be all alone. It is unbearable... i will start to think of all the stuff. well.. now i m at home.. alone, without their company... ah..

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spent the whole afternoon outside. Needed some fresh air.
Wandered around with the MP3 blasting in my ears. Then this random Jay Chou song started playing.

軌跡 Gui Ji Track
Other Translations: none


曲: 周杰倫
Qu: Zhou Jie Lun
Music: Jay Chou

詞：黃俊郎
Ci: Huang Jun Lang
Lyrics: Huang Jun Lang

Translation: wackycashew – www.jay-chou.net

Verse 1

怎麼隱藏 我的悲傷
zen me yin cang wo de bei shang
How to hide my sadness

失去妳的地方
shi qu ni de di fang
The place where I lost you

妳的髮香 散的匆忙
ni de fa xiang san de cong mang
The fragrance of your hair scatters hastily

我已經跟不上
wo yi jing gen bu shang
I already cannot catch up

Verse 2

閉上眼睛 還能看見
bi shang yan jing hai neng kan jian
With my eys closed, I can still see

妳離去的痕跡
ni li qu de hen ji
The traces of your departure

在月光下一直找尋
zai yue guang xia yi zhi zhao xun
I keep searching under the moonlight

那想念的身影
na xiang nian de shen ying
For that silhouette that I’m thinking of

*如果說分手 是苦痛的起點
ru guo shuo fen shou shi ku tong de qi dian
If breaking up can be said to be the starting point of pain

那在終點之前 我願意再愛一遍
na zai zhong dian zhi qian wo yuan yi zai ai yi bian
Then before the final destination point, I’m willing to love once again

想要對妳說的 不敢說的愛
xiang yao dui ni shuo de bu gan shuo de ai
I want to tell you, the love that I dare not express

會不會有人 可以明白
hui bu hui you ren ke yi ming bai
Will anyone be able to understand

Chorus

我會發著呆 然後忘記妳
wo hui fa zhe dai ran hou wang ji ni
I will be staring off into space, then I will forget you

接著緊緊閉上眼
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
And then tightly close my eyes

想著那一天 會有人代替
xiang zhe na yi tian hui you ren dai ti
Thinking about that day, when there will be someone who’ll take your place

讓我不再想念妳
rang wo bu zai xiang nian ni
So that I will not think about you anymore

我會發著呆 然後微微笑
wo hui fa zhe dai ran hou wei wei xiao
I will be staring off into space, then I will break into a smile

接著緊緊閉上眼
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
And then tightly close my eyes

又想了一遍 妳溫柔的臉
you xiang le yi bian ni wen rou de lian
Thinking once again, your tender face

在我忘記之前
zai wo wang ji zhi qian
Before I forget

Repeat Verse 2, *, first part of Chorus, whole Chorus

心裡的眼淚 模糊了視線
xin li de yan lei mo hu le shi xian
The tears in my heart, have blurred my vision

妳已快看不見
ni yi kuai kan bu jian
You almost can’t see it anymore


A great lyric indeed...
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how did the writer got to know how i felt?

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Waiting for you

the pain in my heart will never go away
the tears in my eyes will never dry up
i remembered the day that u said good bye
and walked away.

baby
please dont go
stay with me till we grow old
baby
dont leave me alone
i will wait for you to come home

till the river runs dry as the years pass by
i will always be loving you.
till the world stops turning and the sun stops shinning,
i will always be waiting.

till the ocean runs dry as the years pass by,
i will always be loving you.
till the world stops turning and the stars shinning
i will still be waiting.

till the world stops turning,
and the stars stop shinning,
i will still be waiting.


guess which idiot composer wrote that? Ya.. its me. Edwin la. How does it sound huh? composed that like 1 week ago, decided to put it up now. Ya.. dun laff i know it sucks. I m noob.. wad to do?
Eh.. copyrighted horr. Erps.. i doub anyone wanna steal shitty music. I shd be happy that ppl wanna steal my lyrics.

As for the music score.. still haven finish writing the full thing out. But have the melody in my head already.

Hm.. wondered how i manage to write this out. It took me less that 20 mins to get the lyrics and melody done. Ya.. and it was 12 30am when i started to hum it to myself. amazing huh?

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I looked around me and realised that many ppl are facing the same problem or similar in nature. JH, XS.. and many more. oh well.. u know, i m love to be a listener. Anything that is bothering u.. ya.. come to me. I m always open.

I rmb thanking jason for talking to me on that NE DAY, and he said, last time there was ppl there for him, its time to pass it on.

Ya.. pass it on. U all were there for me, so its time to pass this deed on to those who need it.

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i m sorry for being ununderstanding just now. I accept all ur reasons.

Dun have to feel bad.. its perfectly alright to do this.

I know i stand 0 chance in the near or far future. Still i always believe in hanging on. Hanging on till my heart is being shattered into dust, then will i finally let go.

I dunno how long will it take for me to let go. Not too long, hopefully.
Yet one part of me says,' u got to hang on forever, or else....'

I will see how things work out.. leave everything to fate now.

I have been loving you with all my heart. I did regret some small actions.. i was just wanting to make up.. din expect it to turn into a disaster.

Tears well up in my eyes as i type this post. It takes time for me to accept the fact tat i m 'dead'.

I will always rmb the times tat we spend tgt.. nv to forget. I will always rmb ur smile, the playful you, how u dodge everytime i tried to tickle you. I will always rmb our conversations at the premises around ur block. I will always rmb the fragrance that u carry around. I love that alot.. but i love u most.

It is not suprising that the tears came out.
I will always be outside the doors to ur heart, waiting. Till the day u hand me the keys, open and allow me in.

I know it will be quite impossible, because of the reason. But.. i shall hang on for as long as my shattered heart can hold.

I love you.
Jel.

Read more...

i m officially dead.

Hang at midnight. oct 29 2006. Sunday

you all know wad i mean.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i wonder if i can take it or not.

Or..

am i going to write my own name in death note.

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only those that went through it will truly understand the pain that i m going through now.
Every morning i wake up, harsh reality strikes me; another day to survive.

when can i get over it.
The fact that i m a 'criminal', my sentence is 'death penalty' and i m now just awaiting to be hung.

Who can save me from this 'death penalty'?
Noone. Not even the judge.

So i m bound to be hang.

When? I dunno. Soon, i guess.

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i doubt things can go back to normal even after all the dust settles down.

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bowling was fun.. haha. it was funny la.. we got 2 coaches to there to guide just the 3 of us. 2 coach to 3 students. Wa.. almost like individual lessons and the best thing is they dun charge. haha. Cos they nth to do la.. so just go around guiding ppl lor.. lol.

Hm.. what to do tml? OP stuff in the morning. Then..? Shit.. gotta find smt to do la. Bowling again? Was thinking of batminton, but whos gonna play with me? I cant play by myself right?eediot. eeediot. (this is daina's style of saying idiot. HAHA!)

you are right. Its coming back again.

Nvm.. faster go sleep. zZz

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NE Day was boring.

Class outing to watch Death Note and to marina for steam boat rocks!! Hanging out with the class brighten my day. I love 0806!

For all who have not seen Death Note yet, u gotta see it. Greatest movie of the year! Its not scary at all.. dun understand why the Daina who is sitting beside me cover her eyes when see she sees the death god(?).. haha!!

Have been talking to some people in the class today. Wow.. i seem to know more on how u all feel now.

One feels bad and abit confused. Another seem to be quite depressed? 2 others still gets remind of their past and cant forget it. And 1 big idiot still hangs onto diminishing hope.

I have learnt something today. we got to take things lightly or else we will be the one who gets hurt most in the end. I pray that everyone will be fine.

I guess u r right.. the guys in the class are quite chi qing, and the girls.. better not say.lol.
Cant believe that u got worried when i disappeared half way thru.. haha.. that was quite sweet man. i guess i got to know u slightly better after today? Maybe 0.001% better la.. haha.. since u say that u r a difficult person to understand. hehe. I think i found some common points between us.. had a nice time chatting. haha.

I should keep myself super occupied from now, so that i wun be thinking of anything. Going to bowling tml, then shd be doing chinese hw and hang around with the piano. Yeah.. going to spend my day like that. haha!

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i wanna laugh till i die liao.

Marsh called me "choc di di"
LOL!
This Marshie really does have ways to cheer me up huh?
Next time if u feel sad ah.. just pray that she is on msn.. go chat with her for 10 mins.. then u will be smiling. She so lame la..lol!!

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dont be sad..
smile.
dun cry..
dry ur tears.
i will always be here..
for u.

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So tired after bowling training today. I have delievered at least 200 shots today. Ya.. imagine doing 3 steps and 4 step drills over and over for 3 hours. How is it? One word "FUN!!" Today me and PR, 2 person to 1 lane.. siao bo.. usually is 3 la.. but today 2 onli.. so the pace was very fast haha!! Bowling is my passion.. i love bowling even though i suck at it.

Bowling can get rid of all my troubles. Cos when one is concentrated on what he is doing.. he forgets about everything else. Then after bowling i will be so tired that i cant think of anything. I love bowling.

I love playing the piano too. But talking abt piano.. today in the hall during break.. i was going to play the piano and some stupid teacher with a bloody black face came to me and stop me from playing saying that i m disturbing the jc2s. U GO JIAT SAI LA! At least can tell me properly right? whats with the buay song face huh?

nvm.. i went to LT4 alone to say hi to the piano there. I know i have said it 2 million times already but playing piano can get my mind off everything. Its like u r floating.. like taking drugs?
weird huh? The power of music.

The bowling coach is so good today. He told me pris and PR.. if u all wanna practice by ur own, can ask me to come, i can give u r coaching. Its free. And he gave us his HP no. wow.. thats wad i call a good coach. Passion to teach is impt. Of course, i will make use of the free coaching la.. haha!!

Alright.. tml NE Day.. erps. waste my time.
Then after that go watch Death Note with the class :D:D

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Hm.. JM's post looks sad too.

Hey JM, looks like we are 2 sad guys huh?

Hm.. wad do 2 sad guys do when they come together huh?

GAY!! ERPS!!

Laming la.. i really dunno wad to do la.. erps.

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I wonder how are you.
haven hear from u for seen u online for 2 days, i guess i got quite worried.
Yet i din dare to give u a call..

There is bowling tml.. that means i cannot take 86 home.. i m going to miss taking bus 86..

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Chinese A level is coming, haven start to study yet. Sian..

Was learning Flight of the BumbleBee.. the song was so fast la.. play till my little finger going to drop off liao.

So bored at home. And i feel so sleepy.

Life after exams sucks.

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Ok i know its still 1/2 hour before 23 oct.. but nvm.

let me wish my good brother DoMmIE a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Well.. happy birthday dommie!! u have finally turn 17!!

Thanks for always being there for me man.. i really appreciate it :D

And i wish u all the best with Lin :D

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I m utterly disappointed.

I only told this to one person in the world.. this may sound minor.. but to me its major. I not talking about music ok.. minor and major. Lame.

Ah.. still have to complete I&R.. i guess i dun have to sleep tonight liao.

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Why is the Stupid Pig Jie Jie (SP Jie Jie) so SP (Stupid Pig) ? =Pp.. hahaha!!

I will roast alive u if ahem ahem.. ahem. AHEM!!

nvm..

Tml must hand in I&R Draft.. haven started yet. Nvm.. and haven prepare for OP workshop yet. So what the **** am i doing during saturday and sunday? Lets see.. saturday.. went out to do OP stuff then go home play till sleep. Sunday.. went for bowling then play till now.. yucks.. my sucky life.

Ok.. so gotta prepare the I&R later.. or the LWC is going to be so pissed off with me.

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21st oct ..

is DEEPAVALI!! My PW grp went back to school to pratice OP without realising that the school is closed on a public holiday!! So we ended up practicing OP in AMK Mac. ERPS la.. so dumb.. 4 AJC students wearing school uniforms and going back to school on a public holiday.

Anyway.. saw SP Jie Jie and The Super Jiat Sai Rep and their dance friend there doing some danc proposal. Haha.. and the mac ppl giving out balloons to the kids.. SP Jie Jie being a kid went up to the aunty to get balloons. haha! She got one.. and i get another one form the aunty for her.. so she got 2 balloons now..lol!

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Not in any mood to do anything. OP, I&R, Chinese A levels all coming up. I dun feel motivated to revise or to start doing my I&R.. my heart feels so heavy. I m trapped with all these emotions.. trapped in all these emotions. Passing day after day in a blur, not knowing what am i doing.

I guess i feel better when i m hanging out with people or when i m asleep. But when the night comes and when i m alone.. sadness overwhelmed me.

I love you

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I m so exhausted. Just wanna collaspe now and sleep forever.
Must be because of school and bowling.. i think..

Bowling is fun.. haha.. just love it so much. Imagine Pris and I ponned econs lecture to go for bowling. Haha.
Bowl till the skin on my middle finger and thumb peel off and become so raw. Ouch!
Maybe i will go bowling tml.. or maybe on sunday.. they are chosing the school team soon.. if i dun get in then can go jiat sai liao.

I still cant forgive myself for bowling a 93 in last month's bowling competition. SIAN!!

Tml must go back to school for my groups mini OP practice. Abit sian.. stupid pw.. no choice still have to do it. Some ppl in the class going to Kbox.. aiya.. not that i dun wanna hang out with u guys.. i love to hang out with u guys.. just that i dun like the place that we are going to hang out at. cos i cant sing..LOL.. u all sure faint when u hear me sing.. the screen will crack ah.. haha!!

Ya.. today celebrate XIna's birthday. LOL.. they bought red gstring with the word "sexy" on it as her bdae present. HAHAHA!! XIna!! Must wear for the class to see hor.. hahaha!!

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I dunno why, but sometimes i just tend to keep some stuff to myself. Its not that i din wanna tell u la.. i just naturally keep it to myself la.. and u r the first one to know wad exactly happen la.. stupid la.. haha.

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till the ocean runs dry, till all the stars disappear from the sky, i will be loving you still.

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i have no idea how Dom know tat i m dying.

i m so super glad that he asked me how i m. Super glad. Cos i m going crazy and there he is.. appearing when i need someone to talk to. although we din really touch alot of the topic, still he took my mind off all the troubles.. man.. u r my saviour. i really appreciate that, brother.

I know the pain will come back later.. but.. at least i m currently relieved from it.

thanks doMmIE:D

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now i know how does it feel to suffer alone in silence. It feels terrible. SOmeone save me.. help..

i dun think i will be able to sleep tonight.. i know i m blogging every 15 minutes.. the blog is the only "person" who is free to listen to me now. Pathetic eh? everyone is bz.. with pw.

i feel so terrible.. so terrible..

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what should i do now? for once in my teenage life i feel so lost.. confused.

i seriously dunno wad to do next..

i have been stonning here for 2 hours.. wondering wad should i do. I called.. noone pick. Noone is free now.. everyone is doing pw.

how? someone tell me.. someone save me.

I have been fighting back the tears in my eyes. I know a guy shdnt cry.. i will not cry. i feel nothing now.. but a bleeding heart.

What now... someone tell me. Someone guide me.. please.

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you are probably sick and tired of wad i did. maybe.. u din know the reasons.

i dun really know how to start this.. ok..

sometimes, the thought of giving up crosses my mind and stayed there awhile. why do i suddenly feel that loving someone is such a painful thing? Let me be selfish, i want to forget u because i m afraid. Afraid of rejection. I know i m selfish, trying to forget someone because i fear rejection. sorry.

And.. look at me. I dun excel in anything i do.. be it academic results, sports, cca, music or wad ever i attempt to do. I m just some dirt not worthy to ask for ur love and yet i asked for it. i love u and i want u to be with some one who is better than me.

I know u have not accepted me yet.. or u may not even considered accepting. but what ever it is.. for a moment, i din wan ur acceptance.. ying wei wo pei bu shang ni. so i guess sometimes i just pretend that u dont exist.. or u r invisible. hoping i can forget about u.. so that u can pursue ur true love.

maybe u feel that this is some dumb and lame reason. well.. these are my true feelings.

I guess after attempting for sometime.. i realised i love u too much to get u out of my mind. Perharps i m a fool. But i m most willing to continue to be one.

i m sorry for wad i did. I m a fool.

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let me go back in time so that all these would not have happened.
let me die in my sleep so that i wun feel the pain.
let me look at u, hear ur voice, smell ur fragance before i began to dream forever.

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Love is like magic but magic can sometimes be just an illusion.

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so many things happen in school today.

Got back all the results. so.. i passed all the final year papers. Including my weaker subjects, Econs and GP. I cant believe i pass econs. spend only 3 hours studying and can pass.. imagine i spend 13 hours studying.. could have gotten a better grade then. But nvm.. i m contented that i can get promoted.

So i passed everything la.. and kena promoted lor. YAY!

Some people probably are not as lucky as me. Marshie.. hey.. dun be too sad. I have faith that u can be promoted. U r more hardworking than many of us and all u need is 1 h2 pass.. just alittle bit more. I m sure u will be able to promote.

i witness the true 0806 class spirit today. 0806 have taught me wad is called "huan nan jian zhen qing".

SX need just 1 more mark to pass his physic h2. We were so troubled.. on how to get this one mark. Those pros in physic were flipping his paper over and over .. all of us sat in the audi.. hopping to find just one mark.

we looked for every single physic tutor.. pestered lim wee chee countless time.. stood outside the staff room for almost 2 hours.

Finally we got the 1 mark :D

I also witness something so touching today, i dun think i can forget this scene. It sort of brought tears to my eyes. You cried because u r afraid that u will not see him next year.. u cried because u r worried for him. Give him and urself a chance.. and chance to feel wad is love.

i wonder if i m him.. will there be anyone who will cry for me..

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got back 3 papers already.

Maths, physic and GP.

Got back maths first, just past la. But after knowing that i pass maths.. i can promote liao.

Physic.. so surprised that i did well. At least to me, its considered well. So surprised that i got an A. haha.. so now..TYS gotta treat me to a drink in the canteen.

Ok.. GP. Never passed a single compre or compo in the entire. And suprisingly i passed GP too. waa.. over all was 50% la.. so. i passed all these 3 papers.

Just need to pass chinese can liao. I can fail both chem and econs also nvm.. hahaha!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i see so many people's nick saying Pw sucks and they hate pw. Well.. i m hating it as well. i think my whole group hates it.

Still got left with abit WR. OP and I&R to do and we are done!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The haze is bad.. makes everyone sick.

My heart breaks when i see u sick. ok.. i know u dun believe wad i said.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know.. i m probably nothing to u.

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darn... i m awake.

PSI: 115.. the smell of haze reminds me of that night.

I-chess is such a fun game.. haha :D

The open house was nice.. we the facilitators were slackers. I only bring 2 groups of guest around the place la.. hm.. mass dance was fun :D

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i m so tired inside.

going to sleep later,and i wish i can sleep forever. Never to wake up again, never to face reality again.

This is escaping from reality. I know we should face what ever that comes. But.. i dun think i can face it.

The feeling is terrible, i dun want to experience it again.

..

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ya.. the quiz is lame. we all get the same answers..lol..so.. ignore it ;p

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SP JIE JIE!! u throw the eraser at me ah.. then bounce off my neck and hit feline. U nottie sp jie jie.. make me accuse the all the people who sit behind me of throwing the eraser ah.. lol.. so dumb right.

"eh.. u throw de issit?"

"SX u throw the eraser at me ah?"

"ZX! u issit?"

"jelly u throw de right?"

"issit u or u?"

wa.. stupid sp jie jie.. haha :P:P

sian leh.. tml have to go learn dance.. lehz.. for the open house de.. dun feel like going.

Ya. just now went to bowl ah.. stupid.. sp hard to improve.. so easy to deprove sia.

This time i really must push part of the blame to the lane liao.. ok.. it was super dry. For those who know about bowling.. eh.. i deliver it straight down arrow 1 it ended up hitting the 7 pin.. so in total.. it hooked 30 boards.. from 5th to 35th.. wth?

so dry la.. so bo bian.. need to play some stupid line that i have never played in. and i dunch know how to sent out properly la.. haven learn yet.. stupid..

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i have said it a million times already but i have to say it again "i love you"

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Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

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haha.. marshie so funny.. haha. she smsed me to remind me to bring the chinese test paper tml. Then i so suprised la.. cos she nv remind me to bring anything before la.. so i said that waa.. she so good. Then she say that we are family..lol.. cos i always call her marshie mei mei.. and now she started calling me white choc kor kor..lol..

ahh.. now i got the flu virus liao.. it felt so terrible. my nose like become a water tap liao la.. irritating. u all want free water? come to my nose.. free new water sia.. haha :P

wa sian.. today the FOL.. sucks sia. The Hip Hop lesson sucks. Ask the trainer go die can? He stupid attitude problem.. keep picking on us.. ask he go jiat sai la. Eh TYS why u din ask him jiat Sai ah??? haha!!

In the end.. we, for once in our life, are so glad that there are feedback forms for us to fill in. HAHAHA!!

so, on the lines below.. we said smt like "get a better trainer".."he got attitude problem".."bad attitude".. "waste my time.. waste the school's money"

Then all the check boxes we put strongly disagree.. haha.. make sure the same guy dun come back again.

and he is very hao lian.. dance dance.. impressing girls issit? ur attitude cannot impress girls de la.. idiot.

Ya.. and he no brains.. refuse to use mic to talk.. refuse to stand on the stage to teach.. so we the people at the back.. cannot see and hear properly.

hear that he is suppose to be quite reputable.. i wonder if its in the negative or postive way. shd be the negative ba.

The 2 other activities.. Power of Team and Winning Relationships are good la.. it was fun.. haha.

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I feel so fucking pissed off by some people in school today. (not u.. dun paranoid)

What the Fuck!

Its none of ur problem.. so just STAY OUT!

dear friends who read my blog, dun read too much into this post.. its most probably not talking about u.

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Life is so boring.

pw sucks.

Tml is festival of life. SIAN! Dun feel like going.. i prefer to spend my time with the comp, reading a book or bowling.

I heard that bowling training only starts after OP exams. Heard onli.. but if its really start after OP exams.. then its freaking sian.. everyone will deprove like crazy la.. no brains.

Lim wee chee told my pw group that 0806 did quite well for physic promo paper. wow.. but i tink the paper was meant to be an average paper.. so other classes would have done well too la. lots of us got A/B.. But there are also 2 failures ;? .. sian.

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I feel like running.

Running away from everyone.. running away from you.. running away from myself.

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"maybe.."

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Maybe i shd write a short reply with regards to ur 9 oct post.

Maybe these people have a reason to do so? they may not be that sure of their feelings yet.. and need more time to consider?

one day they may realise how impt these ppl are? They may regret doing so? it depends la.. on how much these people mean to them. If they mean nothing to them, i dun think there will be anything to regret on.

and just be brave.

actually.. sometimes.. i really feel like throwing my hands up and say " i give up" and walk away.. =X ..
but i guess we gotta be brave and take on wad ever it comes.. even if it means that it hurts u. If u dun try u will never know. and.. how can one give up feelings so easily?

wad am i talking? nonsense.. ignore me.. i m just sianed.

see i m so sian till i can put up so many post in one day.. sian lehz.

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ok.. elieen and Jh.. i know u all wanna see the pictures. So i uploaded it onto Msn space.. after dunno how long. Not many pics though.. but still have all of u la.. haha.. so go view la.. lol.

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man.. i have got this weird feeling. Its like i have a thousand things to say and to comment on but i just can put it into words. This sucks.. unable to express my feelings.. arghs.

sian.. sian.. sian.. wad to do now ah? i hate this.. "i have got nothing to do and i m rotting" feeling.. sian..

eh.. why my hands so numb ah? wth.. irritating.. hands and fingers.

Wl! Got two cuts in my fingers because of bball.. aiya.. the fingers last time fungi infection then forever cannot recover.. abit of friction then tear liao.. ouch!

anyway.. TYS dad fetched SP jie jie, Raeger and I home today.. haha!

She always disallow guys in her dad's car la.. now finally allow liao..lol..

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great day.

went for chem spa, then went out with 12 other 0806s to have lunch at pizza hut. we were super noisy in pizza hut.. haha.. but nvm.. i enjoy crapping.

Went back to school and played bball till 6 plus.. waa.. thats like almost 4 hours of bball. So shiok.. long time ever since i played for so long. It was great!!!

but tml sian liao.. OP lectures and then must go see lim for WR. Sian..

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i feel like slapping myself hard. Why do i get jealous so easily. Go to hell.. edwin.

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As i held you and fell asleep beside you, i wished i can sleep forever.
Never to open my eyes again.

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Chalet was fun!!

Had bbq, played bridge and dai dee, then cycle the whole night and morning. Cycle till so tired..lol..

Its nice to hang out with the class.

ok.. i know we made everyone worried..lol.. sorry. Had so many missed calls haha.. thanks for worrying for us. Lol.. sorry for disappearing suddenly.

The haze is killing me. Just now.. the PSI went up to 143. wl.. can die sia.

will upload on the chalet pic on MSN space.. soon.. hahax

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tml last paper.. finally all this shitty exams are over.

well.. dunno if can promote or not.. haha, the maths paper so tough.. crazy.. nv seen such tough paper in my entire 17.5 years of life.

well.. good luck to everyone.

Tml class chalet.. yeah! going to fun.. i guess..

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The world is such a complicated place. Human's feelings are more complex than anything. Feelings cant be forced. It can only come naturally or cultivated over time.

How i wish i had no feelings at all. Like a robot. Free from all the troubles brought about by feelings.

I still feel so bad. I guess a thousand sorrys issnt enough.. a million isnt enough. But i do feel bad.. sorry once again..

Haiz.. why do i always get myself into such a mess.. and drag people along with me.

Sorry..

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The stupid haze is gave me a headache this afternoon. Arghs!

4 more days left to go and the promo will be over!!

Tml is Econs and Physic paper. Econs is sure fail de.. but still must study abit.. cos i fail also dun wanna fail till get zero marks la. Shd be spending the next 1.5 hrs studying econs ba.. so that will make up about 4 hours in total for econs revision. 4 hours to cover 1 year's work.. haha.. pro sia.

Physic.. better pass ah, if not i really die liao. Gd luck to me. Gd luck to everyone.

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