it has been quite a long time ever since i felt this.
i think i do not have much options left..
hang on!
give up!
i die either way i go.. serious.

its like being pursued by some wild beast to the edge of the cliff.
Its either i jump.
or i fight the beast.
i die either way.
great.

even mentioning that name is a pain now.
it used to be so nice, so sweet.
it used to be a painkiller.

everytime when training gets tough and i feel like breaking..
thinking of that name seem ease my pains..
burdens seems to cease..

but now.. its killing me.

everynight i cant sleep without looking at that pic..
now i just become some thing that tortures my soul.
every memory haunts me.

i hope the worst doesnt happen..
however i got a bad feeling abt this.