I actually woke up because of a bad dream.
And i was like saying "ahhh ahh ahhh" while sleeping and dreaming.
I know the ahh ahh is coming out from my mouth but cant seem to stop it while dreaming..lol.
and its abt my flaw.
uh.. i dunno if this is classified as a flaw or not. It's a very physical flaw..lol. but anws just classify it as a flaw..haha.

i have decided to kinda accept i m like a screwed up person for the past 18 years 360 days of my life. Being discussed about and stuff but it doesnt matter..lol..
not exactly going to say wad i mean screwed up. dont worry i din pick up smoking or drug abuse or become a gangster.

Went for a jog this morning and then lie there and watch the clouds roll by. I realised that i was pretty pissed yesterday night.

But no worries.. i wasnt angry at any human beings except for myself. Its more like i m pissed with who i m and how come i din realise it. After sorting out some thoughts i realise that its a good thing people tell me now or i may suffer next time.

Initially i was damn unwilling to change cuz i have been like dat for 19 years.. accpet for who i m.. accept my flaws.. dun try to change me..blah blah and all the other crap ran through my head.
Then after thinking for like 8 hours. I tot.. uh.. why dont i change my flaws instead of asking ppl to accept it. I mean no harm trying.. the most just throw everything away and become my old self again right?

so i have decided to accept criticisms with an open mind. cuz criticisms can only improve you. uh.. wad else to say.. so i have decided to do something about it. yea and i accept any form of assistance from anyone.

Of course there are people i have to thank. JH for breaking the news to me.. haha.. i know i m like over reacting, sounds damn pissed, i guess i should apologise for my actions. No worries.. i wasnt angry at anyone except for myself.

And i m seriously grateful you told me. If you like tell me when i m 60 yrs old i m seriously going to get damn angry cuz i live as a screwed up person for 60 years. So its not that bad living with it for 19 years only.

Thank pris also. for offering to help..lol.. but it will be better if u offer to supply me with some.. $$$$$!!

Thank Jel for giving suggestions and listen to my crap the whole night.. like i m just complaining and complaining and complaining.

And Dom also for replying to my compliants.. lol!