Its going to be one more tiring week.
din know how i made it through the last week, i sure do hope i make it through this week.
a couple more months and i m through!
couple more months seem like years though.
at least there is something to look forward to.. class bbq on saturday.
yeah.. haven finish planning the food yet.. oops..

commitment is burden

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its national day, but it doesnt feel like one this year, maybe cuz i am not involve in any way. even missed the whole live telecast of the ndp. missed it for the first time in 13 years.

assuming i live till 70 yrs old.. i still have 51 more national days to watch, missing 1 is alright. haha. and somemore they have dunno how many re-telecast of the ndp.

so many more weeks to go.
i just wanna get out of there!

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Rmb i mentioned that i dropped my wallet last saturday?
well.. 2 days later on monday i dropped my handphone on a private bus.
whats next?
i m probably gonna lose the underwear that i m wearing while sleeping.
and when i wake up i will be like ' oh! where's my underwear? i probably dropped it somewhere while sleeping'.

luckily i manage to retrieve it.

ooo..
started my driving lessons on monday.
i m a pretty bad driver.
after 5 days, 10 lessons and clocking 1000 minutes later..
i still suck.

we have driving lessons every night for 3 hrs 20 minutes.. pretty mentally drainig.
and the instructors just cant stop nagging at me.
i almost 'died' in the car..lol.


the week passed pretty quckily.
maybe cuz its such a busy week.

gonna take my driving test in 2 weeks time, so.. lets hope i pass.

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weekend just flew by and i m booking in again.

University is starting tml.
i hope everyone enjoy their 3 or 4 years there.
make some great friends, have some great fun, get some decent grades.
i will be enrolling only 2 years later cant wait for NS to end.

Not really looking to ORD yet, i just wanna get pass this 9 more weeks of residential training. Then i will look forward to ORD-ing.

Saturday, went safra yishun to bowl.
woah man.. bowled 11 games but i paid only $22.50. Thats pretty worth my money.
If i were to bowl 11 games at hougang superbowl, it would have been $33.00 and if i were to bowl at safra without a nEbo card and a 2 game voucher it would have been abt$45.00. cool.

But they are pretty strict about using the membership card to pay for friends.
Man.. if i can get discounted rates for everyone, i would have invited everyone down to bowl.

oh ya.. went i reach the safra yishun counter, i realise i dropped my wallet.
i was like oh shit!!!!!
so the first thing that i need to do is.. back track my steps.
after taking 2 steps back i found the wallet on the floor.
lucky sia.. if i dropped it somewhere at the bus stop i would have died!

apart from the 70 plus dollars inside, there are more important stuff.
like.. my police warrant card, NS smart card, NS ez link card, nEbo card, HomeTeamNS Card, POSB Card, and what other cards ..

if i lose all these cards, dunno must lodge how many reports and get into how much trouble.

alright, bye!

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week number 3 is over.
9 more weeks to go.

temptations are devils.
we cannot give in to them.

sometimes i wonder if i m being responsible or just being plain stupid.
or a combination of both.

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its sad, but its true.
i used to follow my heart, but this time, i m following my brains.
and my brains says no to you, though my heart long to see you again.

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26 july 2008

went bowling today.
there was this new ball testing for everyone there.. for free.. so i just went there and tested the new ebonite and hammer bowling balls.
some new black widow series.. i think its called 'venom'.. not bad.. maybe cuz its brand new.

then i bowled my own games.
172.5.
kinda stuck at this average for quite some time already.
i think its going to take super long time to improve it.
and i predict.. the average is going to drop like crazy before it hits a new high again. its always the case.

then went for class outing.
i made jel wait for me for 15 mins and she was like.. sweating like crazy at the busstop. thats what she said, but i din see any sweat leh.. i was the one sweating cuz i ran to the busstop.. haha..

great class outing.
not exactly a class but still its nice to catch up with people in the class.
been like months since i last talked to them.

so.. i have appointed myself to be the 'class outing chairman'.. and we planned out all the class outings for the next 2 years. power right?
the ideal case is that we are going to have 1 every month.. till all the guys ORD.. then we have an ORD Chalet.. yahHhHooo!!!

and of course, we have about 4 weddings to attend after that and our overseas trip.. haha..

we went back at around 2320.
so i send jel back home.
talked at her void deck for 1/2 hrs.. lol.. talk rubbish..
nice talking to her cuz i can say all the things i want.. anything i want.. haha!

woah.. great day.

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pass my final theory test on the first attempt.
yippie.
gonna start my practical in august and gonna get the license before august ends.. haha.. thats based on the assumption that i pass the test la.

today is probably the best friday i have ever had.
buffet, nice durains, pass FTT, go home early..
wow man.. what more can i ask for?

watched Camp Rock.
Its a disney show. not cartoon.
not bad, and the moral of the story is !
as usual, all disney shows have a very nice and good ending.

i believe our lives will all have nice and good endings, just like disney shows, but before these good endings, there will be obstacles that we have to go through. once its through everything will be alright.

wohoo class dinner tml!

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i m not going to complain about going back to camp again.
Should be a busy week cuz my final theory test is on the coming friday.
and i m looking forward to the next book out, because it spells 'f r e e d o m'

my handphone is abit screwed up already.
i think i need a new one.
and this laptop too.. time to get a replacement.

woah.. dunno wad to write already sia.. i m so super tired from going out.. argg!!

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ajc interhouse bowling was today at yishun safra.
since there were extra slots, i went down to bowl just for fun.
pretty sucky.
abit screwed up..lol.
165 and 160.

then i stayed on after the event to bowl 3 games.
woah.
197 181 234
why din i did that during the event?
i m always nervous when it comes to events.

the lanes there were quite nice compared to superbowl hougang.
the place is bright and spacious.
lanes were well maintained.
i will go back there to bowl if it isnt so expensive.
$4.10 on weekends?!?!
insanes sia.. hougang superbowl only charge me $3.00
and they only discount me 30cents with my hometeamNS clubhouse card.. ahhh.. 30 cents..

so i decided to sign up to be a nEBO member.
its 20 dollars for 3 yrs.. and i can bowl at $2.50/game.. pretty cool huh?
but haven submit the appliction form yet.

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bacckk.

i made a mistake. its 12-14 weeks not 8 weeks.
i can survive 12-14 weeks no problemo!

and they made us shave our heads again.
if it was me 3 months back i would have been cyring already.
but now.. nah.. cuz it aint a big deal.
hair can always grow back after a few months.

Learnt a lesson.
what goes around comes around.
we all should always be humble.

an example..
today you are filthy rich, you walk along the streets all dressed in branded stuff.
everytime you walk past someone they will be looking at you in awe.
you feel proud and start to look down on those who are not as rich.

one day you lose your wealth.
and is walking along a streets.
a filthy rich guy walk past you.
everyone inculding yourself look at him in awe.
then he look back at you.
what do you see in his eyes?

the same look you gave to poorer people when you were rich.
"i m rich and you are not, you filthly commoners!"

the richer guy now may not be looking on you.
but you think they are cuz you did that to someone else last time.

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i m going back again!
its just 2 months.
its going to be very fast.
i mean i have survived 14 weeks, whats 8 weeks of training.. haha.

din do much today.
my handwritten journal ran out of pages so went to cp to get a new one.
borrowed a couple of books to keep me accompained while i m bored inside.
wondered around and watch youngsters swear and curse in the games arcade.

boringg!!

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went out with jel yesterday.
she came to see me bowl..lol.. pretty sucky huh? haha.. 160 av.
i deposited my bowling stuff at the counter and we went to vivo.
i talked alot.
non-stop.
my life and funny experiences.. haha.

wanted to eat at swensen's but cant find the place.
i rmb it was at the second level and it has window panels facing sentosa, but we cant find it. i dun even see it on the directory. so we searched second level, thrid level and first level, then back to second level. search for like 40 mins then found the swensen's. AHH!!!

not bad food, unfortunately there wasnt anymore space left for icecream.. haha.
went to watch hancock.
i wouldnt recommend it to anyone, cuz its abit boring.
jelly was yawning all the way.
not much action and the plot is stupid.
but i still like will smith.

it was fun.
because i get to talk non-stop.
haha.
woah only reach home at 1230am.

10 years.. 10 years..

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wa bored sia!

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was feeling extremely lousy today.
its like the floor just gave way beneath my feet.
but a kind soul rescued me.
i dunno who he is, but he is like an angel.

i felt so nice and fresh like i have never felt before.

its random but while watching step up 2 there was this line..
"be youself. life is too short to be someone else"
its freaking true!

Going back to camp.
should be glad.
hopefully all those unhappiness dont follow me inside.

and you know what?
life is too short to live it unhappily.

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It was my last time on duty before returning for training.
feel sad?
abit.. cuz i will miss my freedom.
happy?
not exactly, but i should because i am going to continue with my driving course.

night shift was super tiring.
and i still manage to survive till now.
since amk police station was just beside ajc, decide to go back with a marsh and her friend to get the sgc thinggy.

was abit paiseh abt the timing cuz i told them 9.30am, but then realise i cant make it at 9.30am cuz the next shift took over 1 hr late!! so i changed the timing and tot we can all make it to sch punctually without making anyone wait. in the end i misjudged the time and had to wait at the busstop for them..lol.. lousy sense of timing.

dint know they file the scg so nicely for us.. haha.
had a meal at the canteen.
gosh, i miss school.
i miss classes and i miss friends.
give me one more chance, i would rather remain in school than stepping out.

asking the obvious.

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life sucks for a reason.

i think.

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sunburnt!

new partner again.
i guess we cannot judge a person by their looks.
at first glance i tot my partner wasnt the friendly type.
actully at first glance, i tot all my partners wasnt the friendly type.
but after a couple of hours with them i realise they are very nice people.

i think i should take up a new hobby.
fishing.
saw those uncles enjoying their fishing hobby along the coast.
it seem quite exciting and fun.
fishing is not just about waiting for the fish to take the bait, its about how to fight the fish too. chim right? haha.

my freaking phone is dying.
its like abit screwed up sia!
it started dying late this afternoon!!
the screen will suddenly go all white and white only.
can play music only.. ahh.. from camera mp3 phone become mp3 player?
still got 5 mths then the contract up sia.. geez.. how now?
i takes me 10 mins to start the phone up inorder to make 1 freaking call.. then it goes white again.
gosh.. what a phone!

Time to get a nicer phone i guess.. hm.. time to look at all the phone ads and reviews.. haha.

this isnt fair!
.. it was never a fair game to play.

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watched a couple of movies today.

Narnia and How To Rob A Bank.
Narnia is nice.
How to rob a bank is kinda like a retarded but enjoyable movie.. haha.

then tried out some new pc game which i dun really like.
Some ppl are so addicted to gaming like psp, xbox, ps3, or pc.
i admire them sia.. seriously, at least they have something fun to do while they are free.
as for me, i cant get really get engrossed in games.
i dun own any gaming consoles, except for a computer which isnt really what ppl will call a gaming console.
and i dun find most games fun to play.
or maybe.. i din even bother to try them out..lol.
i think i m weird.
damn!

Horoscope are kinda bullshit.
where are all the nice things that are suppose to happen?
i can only see all the unfortunate stuff happening.

and where is jelly?
lol.. having fun in genting, noone for me to complain to now.. ahhHhH!!
and she better rmb to get me the DVDs!!!

winter in summer.

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This laptop is driving me nuts!

haven been exercising for almost 2 months..lol.. unbelievable right?
played badminton .. woah! its nice to sweat once in awhile.

getting use to the cold.

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ahh!! off days again!!
man! i m enjoying this shift work.
please dun send me back to camp!

sometimes what we see may not seem what it is.
i guess sometimes relationships are like calm river water with strong undercurrents.

feel like going to play badminton later but noone is free i guess so i will be playing with myself la..lol.

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i have decided that my job encounters should be confidential..lol.. so i removed the last post even though it din really describe when exactly.

have nothing to do on my next off days.
what a waste of off days.

there are actually alot of movies i want to watch.. haha..

hancock
21
the strangers
red cliff
and more.. haha..

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went to bowl today.
was pretty irritated cuz i bowled a 115.
and it ended up with a 168.8 av.
well.. what to do. bad day.
bowling always makes me feel sad.. not because i suck at it..
because.. cuz.. ..

i hope they put me at some fun place tml.
some place with lots of action.. so at least i learn something new.
but there aint got such places on the list..lol..

its just too far away

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i was at the haunted place again la.
its quite eerie at night but nothing weird happen.
phew.

jel said she watch finding nemo again.
do you know how many times she watched that show already?
according to my records its the 47620543403 time she watched it online!
tadah! from this i conclude she loves fish!
so rmb to get her a fish from the market on her birthday, which is coming .. 21aug.. haha!

my partner was watching a short video which he took on his hp la.
starring his gf..lol..
so he was holding the phone with 2 hands infront of him and watching it like a little boy.
then he was so happily smiling all the way.
then i wondered.. when then can i smile like that?

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its 2.20am and i m still awake.
msn sure can do wonders to my sleep time.. haha.

time passes pretty quickly actually.
last time a 12 hrs shift used to be like years.
now 12 hrs is super fast.

and even my off days are so fast.
darn.

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seem like i got alot to say today.
so lets start from 0000hrs ok?

alright, i cant sleep ytd night.
probably slept at 0100hrs.
lying on the bed.
not tossing and turning, just thinking.. and asking myself why.
then i prayed.
felt better.

woke up at 0530hrs.
4.5 hrs is enough of sleep.
went to work.
took 86.
cool.. saw many ajc students.
some which i can recognise.. some completely unfamilar.

so.. a sec 4 guy and j2 girl was sitting close to each other la. apparently this sec 4 guy sort of know this j2 girl cuz they always take the same bus so he tapped on her shoulder when he saw her sitting so close to him and he began to talk. blah blah..

since i was just facing the sec 4 guy and had a clear view of the j2 girl and i had absolutely nothing to do.. i listened to the conversation. so 99.9% of the time he was doing the talking.

obviously he is trying to make friends and pick her up, impress her or smt.. but the topic of conversation is really too noob la. at least thats how i felt la.. ok.. here it goes..

first he talked abt his friend and how many girlfriends he switched in a short span of time. then he continue saying.. "aiya i m not such person la.. i m not a playboy blah blah.."
nah beh!
isnt that trying so desparately to promote himself? lol!

so he cont with another story abt his friends being some ah beng and always look for fights and there is one incident that he got picked by other people but din fight. so guess what he said.. "aiya.. my friends abit ah beng but i m not that kind of person la.."

wth sia!
trying to promote himself again..lol!

i was like -.- and at the same time laughing to myself.

but then he also wanted to promote how cool and macho he was.. so he said.. there was this one where they got into a fight or smt.

isnt that so contradicting with the previous statement?!?!?!

so that j2 girl was just smiling and nodding all the way.

i was like gosh! that is not the topic you wanna talk abt if u wanna impress girls on the bus. its not impressive. it leaves a super bad impression on yourself la. ok.. correct me if i m wrong. if the topics he said were the correct ones to start a nice conversation.. i will jump down..lol!

* * *

so i was doing duty at this ulu place in punggol.
its quite alright today..abit rainy..
the place is usually like an oven luckily it isnt too bad there today.
but still i got sunburn like omg!
so uneven sunburn.. only on my left side.
half red half white.

then i saw the sunset.
totally no buidlings to obstruct sia.
the sun set behind this piece of low lying land i dunno what island or what part of sg is that la. but it was just too beautiful. good spot to view sunset and nice fishing spot too.

this is one of the spots you can bring ur gf go la. got other spots quite nice de also.. like at kallang basin.. the city and a condo building is just across the river. so can sit at the other side of the river and view the nice landscape at night while enjoying the cool breeze and peaceful atmosphere. The nicest part is when the lights from all the building reflect in the river water. magical sia!

then there's another place right smack in the middle of a forest. its behind the new marina golf course. there's this super nice spot where you can see the city skyline also.. up close.. like all the super tall buildings plus the gigantic ferris wheel. Wow.. i went there to see once in the day.. it was so nice sia.. imgaine at night with all the lights!

i kinda stumble upon all these places during duty..lol.

back to topic..

we had bicycles there so i just bicycle patrol the place la.
basically cycle on this super uneven sand/soil made road.
its freaking bumpy.. my ass hurts.
and i need to grip the handles tight if not i may just fly off the bicycle.. so the flesh on my palms hurt like crazy.

this is the place you dont wanna be at night. cuz its all forest on you back and the sea infront of you. its kinda haunted there la.. and many of those incidents happened there. so it was 1945hrs.. the sun set already. the whole forest was pitch dark, and the uneven road was dimly lit by the flood lights a distance away.

then i noticed the dogs there started to bark and howl.
i know they always does that at night.. according to other ppl who work there b4.
they just bark and howl at nothing you know.
towards the trees.
then suddenly they will just appear to be frightened by something and just retreat quickly afew steps and start to bark at the same spot again. Its just like someone was there to throw a stone and scare the dog, except there was nothing insight.

not exactly a great place to be after dark i suppose.

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went to bowl today.
174.0
and jel, i din do anything stupid.. amazed right?
ya.. i m so sian today.
its like everthing sucks ok.

actually i typed a whole essay of how i felt and what happened. but i decided not to say it out here. because its stupid. because it wont change anything. i dont think i can sleep well tonight.

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rmb i told you that i dreamt abt this girl a number of times?
first in a chinese restaurant
second in the mrt
third was outside a ballroom
forth in a car

and ytd night or rather early this morning i dreamt of her again.
the past 4 dreams were either neutral or happy.
this one is a nightmare.

the dream was pretty messy, and i cant rmb much after waking up.
in this dream i obviously have a liking for this girl.
then its smt like i found out she is crazily in love with this other guy..
so in the dream i was like heart broken..
something like dat..hm..

dumb dream.
but it was a nightmare though.

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Dom and prissy were occupied today.
so jh and i went to watch movie.
you dont mess with the zohan.
alright.. funny.. not bad.. but some may not like the weird sense of humour.. haha.

I always feel abit sad after going out.
Like after going town or after bowling alone..
its like abit painful.
you can feel it inside ur chest.. and it radiates outwards till the tip of my left figers.
and the reason is stupid.. i think.

because i m nothing

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I did the same thing as ytd!
gosh!
Abit boring.
but afew incidents happened out there.
interesting.. ah.. but its confidential..lol.

i dun mind doing this operation till i ORD..lol.
too lazy to go back for the 2 mths plus training again.
super sian.
i will start complaining everyday starting from today.
so bear with it.. haha.

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today i din even step out of the station except for going home.
was in placed in the command post, replying to radio messages..lol.
interesting.. but i hope to experience operations room some day.. thats like a super bz but cool place.

so i was saying this the whole day.."roger.. blah blah..over"

i may even say it while asleep later.. haha!

i m going back to camp for 2 months plus of training soon.
sheezzz!!
hate staying inside.
give me free food, water, lodging plus 400+ dollars a month i also not interested in losing my freedom.

freedom is like priceless.

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jh i know u r not feeling too good.
well.. i wish i can help you, but i cant really help you deal with ur school work.. HAHA! well.. i guess u need to relax at some point of time.

hm.. dom is in army, i wonder how is he doing.

pris is enjoying her holiday in australia.

me?
i m still the same.

o.. i think i shd stop giving so called 'advices' or 'preach' some stuff to people if they din ask for it.
cuz its kinda irritating i think. sorry.

unreciprocated

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went bowling then went to the barber.
It has been more than half a year since i last got a proper hair cut.
The last time i cut my hair outside of camp was just b4 A levels.
Wow.. that was quite sometime back. Then for the past 5 mths i got my hair cut from the barber in camp. So today is kinda like a significant day? LOL!

then i went to borrow a couple of books.
some books that will probably take me 10 years to finish.
its not very thick.. but its in chinese.
i have some problem with traditional chinese characters.

feel abit sian to go to work tml leh..
just hope i dun kena some weird place can liao.

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ytd night i was on duty at this country club.
i tot its some pretty cool and luxurious club but its not up to my expectation la.
Just some bars, ktv, a small pool, jacuzzi, gym.. no bowling alley or golf course.
well.. plus got a few restaurants and steamboat.
can consider to go there eat next time, its quite near my place sia.

anyways.. i was feeling bored so i decided to do patrols around the whole country club instead of sitting down. So i walked the whole area at least 10 times. exploring different places of the club.

Some places are quite dark la.. i m not afraid of any weird supernatural things you know.. just scared some stupid ppl jump out and wack me from no where.

I was kinda scaring myself the whole night. like i jumped when i hear some noise..lol.. when i see a dustbin at a corner and i tot its someone..

then they had this arcade game machine at the lobby. Just this one only. All the others are at the game room la. And its "house of the dead" so the music it played will be quite freaky right. At first i din know there was this machine there so i happily walk into the lobby then suddenly the freaky music started playing, i got a shock sia. Like i m in some horror zombie movie or smt.. LOL! And i walked past the lobby at least a dozen times.. now the music is kinda stucked in my head. I can hear it even after i reach home.. LOL!

ok.. then in the morning while i was walking along this wooden platform i step on something. Its quite soft and spongey. I tot wad so i turned behind to see what i step on.

A DEAD RAT!

It should have been dead for quite sometime because there are like thousand of ants on it. wow man.. how frequent do you get to accidentally step on a dead rat in the middle of nowhere. Like once in a life time. Anyways i kinda squashed it.. luckily no juice came out of it.

The hardest thing to touch in this world is the heart.

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I came across this today, think its quite meaningful. First time typing chinese..lOL!
人生最可怜的就是， 我们总是梦想着天边的一座奇秒的玫瑰花园，而不去欣赏开在我们窗口的玫瑰。

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Just came back from work.
Its super tiring today, i dont know why.
Its nice to talk to seniors, cuz they can teach you lots of things.

There were 4 dogs at my work place.
1 father, 1 mother and 2 puppies.
The puppies were very cute and playful.. haha.
Its like a happy family.. how nice.

vitamin overdose..lol.. i took 3000mg of vitamin c today.
nothing to do.. so just chew on vitamin c tablets.. haha!

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Finished watching my drama in 2 days.
Thats 20 plus hours of show in 48 hours.
achievement right.. haha.

Not bad la.
Was pretty sad when the series ended.
thats another thing i dun like about dramas.
watch till got feeling liao.. then must say good bye.

and wow.. i always feel like tearing during the drama.
like when that guy found his mom.. i think it was quite touching.

I think the sweet part was really nice too.. waa! Mainly between xu le and neng xian.
i m glad the ending is nice.. everyone found the person they love.
happy ending!!!

sadly, happy ending is not the word for this chapter of my life.

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I thinnk Kung Fu panda was hilarious.
thanks jel for going with me.. haha.
dunno how she can stand me sia.. i was quite noisy the whole time there.

din do much today.
sometimes i dun like to watch drama is because there will be one part where everyone screws up everything in the show and i will be like " AHHHHH!!! NOOO!!! NOOOOO!!! WHYY!!! WHYY??!!!!"

Then get abit agitated and sad.

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i was feeling pretty lousy at the start of the night shift ytd night.
but once you concentrate on work.. you just forget everything.
How great.

by the way i started watching a new drama.
Taiwan drama somemore.. its rare of me to watch drama.. somemore taiwan drama.
I think i enjoy it.. maybe because i was bored to death so i was kinda 'forced' into watching dramas.

sleeping time!

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Damn bored today.
bored to death.
maybe i shd go out and do something retardedly insane again to make life more interesting.. haha!!

i was so bored so i went to marsh and asked her why is she so happy everyday.
The answer is obvious but still.. i went to ask this retarded qn.

Thats me.. always asking qns that i already know the answer.

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we are both crazy then.. haha!

time passes pretty fast today.
guess because i am enjoying what i do.
mainly cuz i have a nice partner.
if partners cant chit chat well.. everything will be damn boring.

Lets talk about measuring success of one's life.
How do we measure success of one's life?
I guess most people gauage by wealth or achievements.

So i came across this story told by a sensei about how he measure success in life.
years ago, he had a friend and they were into gangs and fights.. one time they got into a fight and his friend got killed by a gun shot. A funeral took place. Only few people turned up. And these people were cursing him at his grave, saying how bad a life he had lived.

Then there was this old man in church who always sneak up and smack the sensei at the back of his head. The sensei hated him so much and wished that he is dead. Apart from that he is a nice old man.

One day the old man passed away. He went to his funeral too. It was such a huge funeral. Hundreds of people turned up. They were weeping and mourning for the death of such a kind old man. At his grave, people were saying all the good things about him. How good a life he led.

So.. the sensei realised that measurement of success in life is not by wealth or achievement. It is how many people will turn up at ur funeral and say good things about you when you passed on and how many will say bad things about you.

The old man apparently has been successful in his life and his friend was not.

i found this story quite meaningful.

based on this story, i guess mr kelvin tan led a successful life too. Look at all the good things people say about him when they send him off.

But if only everyone had showed appreciation while he was still alive.. i guess it would have been much better. Many times we only learn to appreciate when we lose something or someone.. however it may be too late then. So dont make this same mistake twice. Tell people how much you appreciate them and cherish your loved ones while you still have a chance =)

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I think i m insane.
did lots of retarded things lately.
i like the feeling of being nervous.. mind blank.. excited.. and responding in the calmest way possible.. trying hard to mask that nervousness.
that explains the retardedly insane stuff i have been doing.

So i went bowling today.
Instead of what ever i planned in mind yesterday.
well..
not a bad day i would say.
exciting.
told jel abt it.. i guess she must be thinking.. "edwin is crazy"
anyways.. just i started bowling.. only in my second frame.. my wrist guard screw fall off and it was lost in the alley. second time it has fallen off.

I cont bowling.. cuz still can support my wrist till game 3.. i decided to get it fixed.
asked the pro shop guy if he has any screw.. he doesnt.
so i went to the hardware store outside and ask the guy if he got screws.
so he found one.. it was too long.. so he cut it.. and tried to repair my wrist guard.
it was damn hard cuz its super difficult to put the screw in.
u will know when u see how the guard is.
anyways it took him like 15 mins to repair it.
he was like.. phew.. done!

so i was like.. hm.. how much for the screw and service. damn hard to put it inside sia. wa.. later too expensive how?

then he said to his casher.."hey collect 10 cents from this guy.. i sold him a screw."
waa! 10 cents onli sia.. for 15 mins of total frustration. The last time i tried to insert the screw myself i took 20 mins.

bowled 177.6 av today.
you know.. i got 7 consective strikes after the my wirst guard spoil. Shd let it remain spoil so i can bowl better.. LOL!

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you know what?
i feel damn sad.

feel like some freaking failure.

whats the point of asking when you already know the answer?
i think i will go bowling instead.
at least the lanes will not say no to me.

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went to the church with xs, pris and jh.
i got a shock when i look through the glass panels of the coffin.
inside lie a man that i could hardly recognise.

lips so pale.
sunken cheeks.
and looks like 50 instead of 36.

my very first reaction was actually fear.
i mean.. its not a everyday thing that u see a man lying in a coffin.

then we went to walk around and ran into ht, xy and j.
talked for a couple of mins.
i think its tragic.
i haven meet up with all these ppl ever since graduation from zhss.
and now.. 2.5 years later we get to see each other but in this sad occasion.

sad stuff aside..

i know i was complaining the whole afternoon that i missed it.
i missed it.
gosh!
i think the 3 girls have enough of wad i was complaining..lol

i missed a nice opportunity.
the opportunity just came out from no where.
as if god created it for me.
but then at that very instance i was too confused with my thought.
nervous i think..lol.
and i din grab hold of it.
so it slipped away.

if only i had walked up and open my mouth.
instead of smile and walk away.
i guess things could have alot of difference.

i missed too many opportunities already.
not going to let the next one slip by.

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If you google blog search the name "kelvin tan" it will give you at least 100 relevant results.

Mr kelvin Tan was my sec 3/4 history and social studies teacher. I remembered that we used to complain that his lessons were boring. Most of his lessons were spend on watching documentry about the past. Nazi, WW1, WW2, ect ect..

i still can remember quite clearly when one of our classmates told him that he is handsome his reply was .. "tell me something i don't know".
I bet everyone can remember this. We laughed like crazy over that line.. haha!!

He was a nice man. Forever trying so hard to teach us and make sure we understand. If we don't he will explain stuff over and over again till you understand. Very friendly guy with a huge smile.. haha.

but its sad that he have to leave us so soon. Liver problems. He postpone treatment because of his students and it cost him his life.

R.I.P Mr Kelvin Tan

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There are so many nice movies screening now but noone to watch with me.. AHHH!!!

someone is actually browsing through my archive and reading the past entries.
wad sia?
trying to read 700 pieces of nonsense?
haha!

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I just realised the last entry was my 700th entry.
Congrats to those who have been reading from the very first entry till now.
You have just read 700 entries of nonsense.. HAHA!
701 if u include this one..haha.

stayed at home for the whole day.
woke up this morning with a freaking bad dream.
its like one of the worst thing that can happen to me.
i dream that i was on duty.. and i lost all my equipments.
Like all!!

We have 10 items on our belts.
and i lost everything.
losing 1 is already super x 1 million billion trillion zillion bad already.
imagine losing 10!
That inculdes my bullets and gun.. i was like omfg!! what to do now?!?!?!!

I actually have a phobia of losing my equipments from the start.
so everytime b4 i move off to a new place.. i would do a quick check to make sure nothing is missing. Who knows.. the item may just fall out or smt.

And i woke up this morning feeling super tired.
dunno why.. its like i haven sleep enough.
back aching and all.. so i went back to sleep.. LOL!

Been staring at the comp for the whole day.
zz.. shd do something more productive.

yesterday was friday 13th.. it wasnt bad at all.

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We make them cry who care for us
We cry for those who never care for us
And we care for those who will never cry for us

How true..

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Night shift was quite cool.
had a nice partner and nice location.

Dom enlist today.
Can understand how he feel.
Probably not 100% understand cuz firstly he is stranded on an island, i m not and secondly he is attached and i m not.

I rmb when i was enlisted 5 mths back.. the feeling really sucked.
I spend the last day of freedom in the bowling alley.
The feeling was like.. gosh.. there goes my 2 years.
Those who din go thru will never understand how sad it was.

Then the first 10 days confinement wasnt the nicest days i had.
The instructors were so tough on us because we were new.
But thinking back.. it wasnt so bad after all.
Its like a sense of achievement.. "i made it through!"
infact, i miss my basic training days.

During the confinement period.. though i was training on mainland singapore, i din actually get to see whats outside the fences. So basically after like 3-4 days i tot i was away in some other country. Completely disconnected from the real civilisation. Until one day.. while jogging we passed by one of the fences.. look out and saw cars and expressway.. It was like something so new to me.

"WOW CARS!"
"ROADS!"
"TREES!"
"NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS!"
"FREEDOM!"

everytime i jogged past the fences, it gives me a feeling of hope.
freedom is just a fence away.
But the fence is like infinitely long and high.
no way u can climb out.

thats all for NS life.

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haven been blogging much cuz nothing much to say.
have been resting for the past 4 days..lol.. going back to work tml night.
Night shift!

I think the new intake of police trainees just enlisted.
aw man.. din get a chance to see them enlist.
Its quite fun to see the blur blur faces when they are enlisted.
I bet my seniors enjoyed seeing my blur face as well when i enlisted 5 months back.

and wow.. 5 months have passed and i still haven finish my training.
I guess its only going to end in mid october?
That will be when i get my driving license! woohoO!
but no car..lol.

oh ya.. why so many girls like to venture into selling stuff online?
i noticed it la.. hm..
mainly sell clothes sometimes accessories..
hm.. issit some lucrative business or what?
and they only sell female stuff sia.. i guess its easier to make money selling clothes to female than male.

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I got transfered from bedok to ang mo kio.
I guess its closer to seng kang.

new working environment.. must adapt again.
so troublesome!

blah.. dunno what to say.

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Nice gang outing.
quite some time ever since i crapped so much.. haha.

i have been staring at the screen for 10 mins after writing the last sentence.
dunno what to say.

Its a sad situation.

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what a nice sunday!

just came back.. ahh.. going to sleep soon.
was at this post with my partner for 7 hrs.
we kept watch and talk cock for 7 hrs.

He got lots of things to share, more experience in life la.. 30 plus years old liao.. haha.. talk frm NS to malaysia to the fuel hike in malaysia to gfs to work to school to childhood to global warming to "hey when is our breakfast coming?" to "eh when are they going to pick us up."

thats alot of things.

i found the shift ytd quite enjoyable.

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i got this weird dream last night.
It was me and a girl we were quite happy tgt.. something like the begining part of 'sky of love'.
cant rmb much of the dream but it was nice.
as for the girl.. i cant see her face actually, i know she is there.. but just no face.. i tink u know what i mean.
But she is definitely not the one i have been dreaming of for 3 times.

too engross in the movie la.. even in my sleep also dream abt it.. haha.

its june already.
cant wait to work in npc.
that is where the real action is.

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BORING!

just staring at the screen and thinking of what to do next.
um.. watch bowling videos.
um.. watch a couple of movies.
um.. read some articles.
um.. played chess.
um.. read blogs.
um.. blog.

day shift tml.
think i will be staring at the sea again.
hope its not too warm.
ok better rain tml!!

obviously uninterested.
all i can say is good things only happen in dreams.

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sky of love is a freaking beautiful but sad romantic movie.
Gosh!
The starting was so sweet la.. and the ending was so sad.
sad to the max.
like the saddest movie i have ever watched.
almost cried sia.
and its suppose to be a true story.

watch it at crunchyroll.

i m so sad till got no mood to do anything.
thats how sad the movie is.

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i realise if i m at home i will be posting about 2-3 entries per day.
wow.. edwin enjoys talking crap.
and u guys out there are reading nonsense stuff.. HAHA!

the person at the opposite block stopped playing his/her loud music already.
must be someone complain la.
hm.. free the whole of tml.
so just stay at home and do my stuff.

or is anyone free to go out? lol.

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some guy or girl across my block is being emo.
i have been hearing "..its too late to apologise.. its too lateee!!.." for the 1 hour. Its a not bad song by timbaland ft. one republic.
at first i tot its karaokae.. then after listening for 1 hr i realise it cant be. Must be radio. dun tell me the person singing non-stop for 1 hr plus.. siao ah.. haha..

sheesh.. trying to make me emo also issit?
lol!

stop & stare by one republic is like my ultimate fav song.
love the lyrics and melody.

"stop and stare, i think i m moving but i go no where.."
nice.. haha..

thanks to the person across the block now i become emo..
LOL!
ok back to watching my show.
nah not drama.. i cant watch drama.. watching movieeee!

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aiya.. went bowling and i suck.
average 164.. i really wanted to kill myself.. ahhh!!
it was quite frustrating cuz what ever i do it just go wrong.
no matter how good that shot was suppose to be the pins were just too stubborn to fall.

No matter how hard i tried, it just doesnt go right. It just wasnt meant to be..
if its not ur day, its not ur day.
this applies to things like relationships also.
if its not urs, its not urs. Fullstop.
this is sad but its reality so live with it.

had a good night shift ytd.
saw some stuff.. learn some things.
become slightly more knowledgeable.

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Work was alright.
i m patrolling the streets all day long.
more interesting than sitting there staring at the sea.

I would rather live in my dreams because that is the only time i can see you smile at me

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oo.. one thing i forget to mention about.

The Edwin & Jel's Gay Theory.

Why guys turn gay? From jel's blog i m lazy to type..lol..

then he started saying increasingly got a lot of les...
and gays...
then we were saying the girls become les because all guys are shitty...
so they become les...
and there are increasing no. of gays...
coz the girls become les.. so no choice...
they have to become gay...
lol... edwin and jel's gay theory...
credit goes to edwin.. lol
well *shrugs*...
its a vicious cycle.. haha

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Stayed at home the whole day.
Shiokness!

I m planning the gang outing for next week eh.. but haven got any great idea yet.
actually wanted to go cycling, but pris got an issue with bicycles. Apparently she cant cycle without getting bruises. HAHA!

ok so need a alternative plan la.
Its going to be on 8th june.. mid afternoon.. so keep it free please.
and if u r attached pls feel free to bring ur bf/gf along.
but if u r not attached and wanna bring someone along, yea just bring..HAHA!
um.. we cant freaking go to sentosa at such weird time.. haha..
um.. ok.. ran out of ideas.. but dont worry i have 14 hrs to think abt it tml.

spend all of my time today making blog templates.
They are actually quite bad looking.
i m not using photoshop.. cuz dun have it la..
using the trial beta version of microsoft expression design.
suppose to be something like photoshop i think..
well i suck at it la..
the full tutorial is so super long probably take me like 1yr to finish reading..
so din read la.. haha!

is this how it feels to miss someone?

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NUS is freaking irritating.
Abt 2 days back they send this ultra long email promoting their biz school.
why choose nus biz sch?
blah blah..
din bother to read.

Then today.. they advertise again.
This super long email on why choose nus biz sch?

I choose them liao still send me all these stuff.
irritating, makes me wanna reject their offer more.
what intense advertising campaign is this.

anyways i went to bowl ytd.
woah.. you wont believe it.
i din believe it as well.
191.25 over 12 games.

first 6 average 174.67
next 6 average 207.83

I was just luckily.. HAHA!
cuz of a high game of 276.
wow man.. i was just 1 strike away from perfect game.
ahh.. damit!
it was like this..
x x x x 6/ x x x x xxx
ok the stupid 6/ was when i realise i got 4 in a row then got nervous.
wasted.
budden, it wasnt the nicest strikes.
abit pai seh.. hit the correct pocket la.. budden the pins din fall nicely.. ahh!
so av over last 81 games is 176.81.
i realise it suck cuz the lanes there are suppose to be easy.. ahhh!!

ok shall not bore u with all the numbers.

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i m so proud of myself.
i made it through the night shift.. haha!

my partner was a reservist guy.. not bad la at least can communicate.
It rained at ard 2am plus.. freaking cold.
The sea wind was so huge.. and chilly.
no choice, took the police raincoat out and wore it to keep warm.. haha.
look like a retard la.. wearing a raincoat under shelter.

ok many ppl dunno how my working hours are like.. so here it is..

day shift:

5:30am - Wake up
6:00am - Go to work
7:00am - Reach station/change/draw equipments
7:20am - Briefin
7:45am - Breakfast
8:00am - start work
..
..
8:30pm - end work
9:00pm - Reach station/return equipment/change
9:20pm - go home
10:20pm - Reach home!!

if u think its a 8am-8pm thinggy.. its not.. haha.
in general one will spend about 16-17 hours preparing, travelling, and working (5:30am-10:20pm).sometimes if good then 15 hours lo.

trying to adapt to it la.. cuz i will be doing this type of hours for the rest of my NS life.

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yay.. pass my basic theory.
luckily or i shall be the first one in history to fail it ah.

i wonder what i really want.

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spend 1 hr plus travelling back to camp for a 1 hr theory lesson.
ah.. waste time.

along the way my friend asked me if got gf or not.
obviously i said no la.. cuz really dun have.
then he asked "din find ah?"
i replied "no la.. noone wants me sia"

he looked at me as if i said smt retarded.
i was like.. oops.. did i say something dumb?
then he said "whr got such thing as noone wants de!"

so dont get too upset..lol.. now i believe everyone in the world is wanted.
including myself.. wahaha.. just that the person haven appear yet..
wait lo.. if not how.

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I m back to working shifts hours.
Good: Can go home everyday
Bad: Its boring

I really regretted.
should have picked up the offer to be attached to geylang npc.
Can learn get more ground experience than just guarding the coast.

one reason why i din wanna go is because.. its quite far away from my house.
but then i regretted not going.
just travel abit longer lo.. nvm wad.. the experience gain is worth more than the travelling time and cost.
too late..
sad.

Going back to camp later to take basic theory trial test..lol..
lazy to travel back just for this 1 hr plus of thing.
then.. tml afternoon going ubi to take basic theory, and start shift at night.

glad that they place me back in the same team as last time.
at least i know some of the full time officers there.
fun people to be with.
woohoo.. lets hope i get to do vehicle patrol tml.

um..
byee

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stop now it will hurt less.
Cont and lose, it hurts more.
thats my advice to you.

been feeling quite low these few days.
i think i really suck at this lor.
yes.. the person in the same boat as me.. u know wad i m talking abt.
Nv have much luck in this la.
u saw it for urself these few years.. haha..
lets hope it work out this time.

and people dun any how interprete wad ever i said there.
its not wad u think it is..lol..

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lol.. jel actually responded to my comment abt her post..
better not say too much or she is going to wack me up.
you know how violent ladies can get.
thats why there is an increase in husband abuse.. haha..

oh.. wondering why am i here on a wednesday afternoon???
yea man.. just got deployed for some stuff.
ard 7 weeks i believe and i shall be going back to cont with my 3 mths training.

wow man.. i just returned to camp for 1 week plus then come out liao.
had to bring my whole locker home.. woah! Tough task!

taking my basic theory test this friday.
abit screwed actually.
cuz everytime i do the practice papers..
its either fail or just pass.
for the just pass right.. if i get just 1 more qn wrong.. then fail liao.
its really really on the border.. haha.. screwed.. hope i dun fail it.

i m so so affected by small small things.
wow.. cant believe myself.. can get so emo.. erps..

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I got my specs today.
Look ugly.
With or without it.

going back to camp.
actually, i m quite alright with it.
Its very boring during weekends.

I chose NUS BBA.
I had to make a choice.. so i asked the one dollar coin to help me.

going to seriously think about what i really really love, then try again next year.

Feeling kinda down.
but this is not the place to disclose it.

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i was reading jel's blog and i saw this..lol..

oh by the way...
a random thing...
i think it is nice and swt for guys to send us home after something...

then i was thinking.. "hm.. i always send jelly home at night after those super late class outings.. so i m nice guy la.. muhahaha!"

then.. she continued saying..

but ya... impt thing to guys...
if it is really late and if the girl stays somewhere near...
do send the girl home... (not applicable to me... i dont need it)

woah!
AH! i send her home 20 million times then now i realise she doesnt want it.. LOL!
JELLY!!!
ok la just kidding eh.. haha

actually she always say 'dont need to send me home la'
budden i feel damn unsafe sia
i mean she is blur like sotong and cant run fast (ok kidding)
so i send lo..lol.

then in the post she said..

my girl friend was so mad with the guy for leaving her to take the bus alone late into the night...
and just went off himself... lol

i dunno if this was the ting hock kiat leaving dania and marshy alone at the busstop incident.. but i suddenly rmb this.. LOL!!
It was damn funny.. ah hock left marsh and dania alone at like 12am after our night safari outing! Then i rmb they were quite angry. HAHA!

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bowling.

wa.. i was so irritated with myself.
As usual la.
For the 7 games, i was averaging 163.2
Super irritating.
cuz there is this family beside me, like 12 people all squeeze into space meant for 4people. Like sardine.
I din know what i was doing incorrectly or what, everything so screwed.

Then for the next 7 games, after calming myself down, manage to average 187.2
Luckily i bowled a number of 200 games or i am gone.

Budden.. overall average is 175.2 all thanks to my first 7 games.
I will just keep track of my scores here la.
actually scores aint the most impt thing but nvm.. alright..
total games:69
total pinfalls: 12027
average 174.30 <-- suck! lol..

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Watched the movie "Graduation".

Its about 4 good friends robbing a bank just before their graduation ceremony in order to get money for one of their friend's mom for operation. Nice movie, worth watching.

ORD in 531 days 22 hours 17 minutes.
The numbers are just depressing..haha..
by the time alot of things would have changed.. we shall see..

It has been some time since i last missed someone.

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i m feeling super bored.
nothing to do.. ahhH!!

Glad that pedra branca belongs to us.
Glad that Lakers won Spurs 101-71 (lakers leads series 2-0)
2 more wins and they will be in the finals!!
Come on guys!

Cant wait to get out of NS and start studying.
Studying is so much nicer than working.
now i know.. haha..
but then 2 years later you will see me complaining..
"I wished NS was longer. Working is so much more fun than studying!"
hard to please.. haha.

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back from the tea session.
the place is so super far from sengkang.
and its just another big advertising campaign.

I found the ntu mae info sharing more informative than nus bba.
at least i know wad i m going to study about.
for today's session all i learn is they offer plenty of opportunities to participate in this and that.

i went at 1pm when the thing starts at 1.30pm.. so not many ppl there yet.
it was like..' ahhh damnn..' when i got in there.
noone i know.
not even 1 soul!

so i just hang around and look like a retard.
wanted to approach ppl to talk la.. but hm.. dunno if they wanna talk to me or not so i din..lol.
And i realised the majority of people there are females. Maybe 60% of the undergrads?
and i got really uneasy cuz i m a shy person..lol.

anyways i was standing at the back of the foyer leaning against this huge rounded pillar facing the crowd of undergrads..looking for ppl i can recognise but found non.

Then i just turn behind the pillar to take a glance wads going on at the back.
guess who i saw?
of all the human beings in the world i saw Ting Hock Kiat..lol!
He dressed as if he is going to sentosa beach or smt.
heng sia.. at least a jc classmate to accompany me around.

I saw many familar faces.
There were quite a number of people from ajc. Like mostly girls.
Then i saw some seniors.

And this so familar girl whom i think i know.. we said hi by smiling from far but i cant rmb her name, or how we got to know each other. I think it was back in jc, or was it sec sch? cant rmb.

Then a number of other familar faces who i think i have seen them and know them but just cant rmb the names and how i got to know them. I was cracking my brains just to remember their names.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I realise i have a super big problem.
Damn lousy in socialising.
with both male and female.
But especially female.

for example.. i m hesistant in approaching people to make new friends or wad ever.
1)Dunno how to approach correctly
2)Dunno wad to say after the initial conversation
3)Dunno if they wanna talk to me

and when it comes to talking to female strangers.. even more jia lart.
i dun talk to them at all..lol.
like i m scared of girls or smt?
i think so eh? maybe i m shy la.. maybe..lol..

This only apply to people i dont know.
for female friends i know.. i m quite full of shit.. and not shy at all.. haha.

If you see me talking to a girl i dunno ah.. then i must have mastered alot of courage and i m probably like a shivering jelly inside. and i m not asking for number or anything ok.. i have never asked a girl i run into on the streets for number.

man.. i really suck when it comes to talking to people la.
confidence is what i need la..
this is one of the reasons why i chose to be a neighbourhood police centre officer.
to build my confidence and communication skills.
i hope it helps ah.. or i will probably be friendless in uni.

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stupid little things like this can make me happy.
how dumb.

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backkk!!

Nothing much to say about life in camp except its quite easy.
Its morning exercise.. breakfast.. lessons.. lunch.. lessons.. dinner.. lessons.. sleep. Lots of eating and lots of lessons, as you can see.
hm.. basically studying police work and driving theory/practical (soon)

one fine day while in class, a guy came in and told us.. ok.. next friday is your basic theory test. Then nxt nxt friday is your advance theory.

i was like.. "wow.. so fast ah.. i haven even got the book to study yet and i know nuts abt driving"

cool right.. free license.. but it comes with a price also.

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oh man, what the freak is wrong with the internet!
Guess it is also on holiday eh? lol..

O.. going back for more training.
This time with a whole bunch of new people.
Thats the thing i hate, nah not the new people..
hate the process of readjusting to new environment.
probably by the time i adjusted, the training end liao.. lol.

Next weekend is a busy one.
Appointment on friday night,
info sharing on saturday afternoon,
bowling on sunday.

ok the connection sucks.. i m now using the desktop cuz the wireless on the laptop really cmi.

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not very happy with my av today. 167.8.. ahhH!
blame it on the irritating kids on the lane beside.
Or maybe cuz i suck.. lol..

after some calculations, i had 9579 pinfalls in my last 55 games which make my current average 174.1.
wow what an achievement.
Lets hope it improves more.

Then i went to the doctor.
Some weird pain on the right chest, which only hurts when i swallow food.
weird right?
Then the doctor explained it some joint hurting. He said a number of chim terms that i cant understand.

like.. 'dont worry it is probably the (name of a joint) between the (name of a bone) and (name of another bone).. give u this medcine and this medcine.. blah..'

i din know there are joints in the chest area..lol..

Then i went to the library.
Tried to pay my fine but end up having my atm card stuck in the machine.
cuz nv follow instructions.
I put the card in before the green light flashes.lol.. noob sia..

Borrowed 3 books.
Nah.. not story books.
Can kill time when i m in camp.

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Another dream.
I dream every night if i sleep at home.
Dreamless when i m sleeping in camp.

ok this is an extremely short dream but it seem so real.
oh yea.. its abt that girl i hardly know.. so this makes it the 4th time i dreamt abt her.

its going to sound damn lame, idiotic, stupid.. whatever other vocabulary you wanna use to describe this dream.. but i cant help it.. cant really control it huh..lol..ok here it goes..

we were in a car, at the back seat.
she lie her head on my lap.
I was like "ehhhh??? wads going on man? I hardly know you!"

After a period of confusion, i started to think.. oh.. maybe she like me as well eh??
She looked at me and smiled, wow.. it was like she's so happy or smt.. i rmb stroking her hair.. erps why did i do that for?? Retard.

Then this part is even more idiotic.. i lean to kiss her??? OMG! This is so embarrassing sia! Just as i was like 0.001 cm away.. i stopped.

cuz this went thru my mind.."hello edwin, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??!! Isnt this alittle too soon??? Ppl lie on your lap and u wanna kiss them ah? crazy"

she looked surpise when i lean towards her. she looked more suprise when i withdrew.

ehhss.. anyways its just a dumb dream, i dunno why am i saying it here. but it seem super real. I was actually enjoying this dream. Then when i open my eyes and saw myself on the bed i was like..'oo.. its just a dream.. damn!' hahahhaa...

this makes me sound so pervertic right? no ok.. at least the girls in my dream is always the same.. nt like it changes everytime.

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This is so troublesome!
Nus BBA or Ntu MAE??
SMU ACC hates me.

If SMU ACC had picked me i would have went there already.. ah..
now have to decide between the two.
I m ok with bba or mae.. just have to decide which one have better prospects and which uni have environment that i like better.

I used to be quite naive, thinking we can live purely on love, air and water.
no worries, i m not so dumb anymore.. hahaha.. abandoning such childish tots.

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Our training days.

dread going back.

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busy yesterday.
went back to camp collect my stuff, eat graduation lunch, do some admin thing, go woodlands, go home, go orchard, eat, watch movie, chill, miss last train, finally got home..lol.

Made of honor. Not bad.

all of the good friends i know of are going to be coast guards.
so its like saying good bye.
now i am tgt with ppl who i dun really know well yet.
nvm can always make new friends right?

Now chosing btw nus bba and ntu mae.

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My handphone is alittle crazy.. here it goes..

i picked it up this morning just to take a look check the battery and stuff..
so the battery bar indicated that it is still charging. When S.E fones are charing the battery bar will show it moving from empty bar to full bar then back to empty bar and there will be a zig zag lightning sign in the bar right?

well.. it indicates clearly on the phone that it is charging, i have no issues with it except.. i din plug my phone into the charger. I was like uh.. wad???
Since when phones do not need to be plugged in to be charged? wa.. maybe it has an inbuild solar panel or smt..lol.. no.. it kinda screwed up.

But it is interesting though.. haha..

this is damn weird la..
when girls drool and go crazy over guys its normal nothing is wrong.
when guys compliment girls saying they look good, these guys become perverts.
bias right? lol..

O.. my hair finally grows longer. Yea man.. i m so happy, but probably going to get a hair cut soon.. ahHhh!!

this is bad..
so many ppl dying in the cyclone and earthquake.
whats next?
Volcano? Tsunami?
The stories on the news is so sad la.. its like reading a non-fiction tragic story.

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went bowling in the afternoon but dang.. the lanes are full and i have 1.5 hrs till they are cleared. so decided to take a walk at heartland mall. Went to popular, boring.. so went out and walked past a spectacle shop.

Since i have nothing much to do so just went in and get my eyes checked. No short sightedness.. but have wad u called shan guang (Astigmatism) i think thats the english name for it.

according to the guy there it aint bad as long as i can see clearlu, yea i can see fine nevertheless i got myself a spec...lol. choosing specs is the damn hard process. I cant choose stuff for nuts.. like i cant choose food, drinks, clothes, shoes, bowling balls, bags and even girls.

so i asked the counter lady for her opinion.. 'how does this look on me?'

that was how i spend 1.5 hrs waiting for the lane..lol.

u know wad?
dang i m going back to camp tml.
and yeah!! i m booking out tml also.
but i will be going back again on vesak night. ahh.. there goes my sweet freedom.

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not my best week.

Migraine is killing me!!
3 times in 3 days.
Broke the all time record of 1 time in 1 month.

I was mostly in a blur.
as in my vision was a real blur.
like.. i cant see stuff clearly.

Its the migraine symptoms.. plus i believe i need a pair of specs soon.
noticed that my eyes are dying since j2 but can still see words pretty clearly though not as clearly as in sec sch.
Must have been cuz i studied too much.

erps.. more likely to be too much comp.

Just hoping i wont get another attack forever!
Been resting alot at home these few days. cant do much with a stupid headache.

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Been falling sick so i m resting at home.

Had the weirdest dream last night.
My mom force me to marry some unknown girl!!
okok.. read on for details.

In the dream..it all begins when i woke up from bed..
my mom was like.. hey edwin.. you are going to get married today!
Then she make me go to the wedding ceremory.. the one which excanges vow and stuff..
there were like hundreds of people from both families.

I saw all my relatives.. they were so excited.
I was in a blur.. like huh? since when do i have a gf let alone getting married.

Somemore it is a stranger! I have never seen or heard of her in my life.

Then i was thinking if the bride is a nice lady then it shouldnt be too bad la.. right?
So i asked how old is she.
I was told she is born in 1979.
WTF?
10 years older than me?

i was thinking nvm.. as long as she looks young and is nice can liao.
So i went into the ceremony hall and saw her there.
Almost faint.

I was like eh.. u sure she is born in 1979?
She looks as old as my mom sia!!

I was like omg.. why me sia? I dun know her.. why all my relatives and parents force me to marry one old woman???
Everyone acts as if this is a real wedding and nothing is wrong like dat.

Kaoz.. when i was abt to sign the marriage certificate.. i saw her date of birth.. 1969..
AHHH!!! OOMG! She is like freaking 20 years older than me.. enuff to be my mom liao sia!!!

I was thinking of a way to get out or smt without embarassing anyone, including myself. Then i came up with this plan.. marry now divorce later.
Then i woke up with my heart pumping like siao.. luckily it is a dream or i may just kill myself.
Wow man.. it was really a wtf dream.

A few years age gap.. like 2-3 years is ok la..
wa lao eh.. give me 20 years age gap.. siao ah!

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slept for 13 hours.
Pro sia.
Wasnt feeling well yesterday so went to sleep.
Haven been sleeping so shiok since i dunno when.. haha..
woohoo!

Bowled yesterday.
fun. Bowling is always fun.

I was called back for duty la.
But how to go back with a stupid migraine?
Feel damn bad la.. ps my squadmate.

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Sat at there and watched the sea.
12 hours.
The wind was great.

The wind was blowing at 7-9 knots on average (12.9km/h - 16.7km/h).
Super cooling.

Can see marina area across the water.
It was quite far away.
The buildings are smaller than my pinky finger. Maybe just the size of my nail.
Can see the huge ferris wheel too.
The tall office buildings at the city with the ferris wheel looks really good from far.
Especially through the binoculars during the night. All nicely lit up.

The wheel looks good.. it was partially lighted up. Purple colour.. haha..

Then suddenly after coming back from the washroom, i cant see the city anymore.
Wow.. like super blur over there.
It was raining over at the city.
Then the wind picked up.
hit 22 knots (44.7km/h) then a record high of 30 knots (55.6km/h)

It was quite strong.
The plastic chairs started to shift in the direction of the wind after i stood up.
Like some horror movie..lol.. moving on its own.

Then it rain and we were freezing..lol.

Sitting there, watch the sea, feel the breeze can really help to relax.
Alright i m not lazing or wad.. this is my job.. i m suppose to look at the sea..lol.
Good way to destress.. next time stress can go to beach.

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Super tired!

I thought i will be alone in the information sharing session.
Guess wad.. saw a friend.
Such coincidence.
Some more is my squadmate.

What are the chances of seeing a squadmate on a saturday afternoon, who is also doing night shift later, in Mertitus Mandrain Hotel.

This information sharing is like an advertisement. Gives you information about the courses and at the same time advertise the school and try to attract you.

I found aerospace engineering really interesting and are the stuff that i want to study. But unfortunately, my grades aint good enough. They only take 120+ ppl this year.

Alright.. going to work now. Seriously going to collaspe already. It feels like i just arrived home from a night shift, but in actual fact, i haven even start work yet.

15 more hours and i will be back home sleeping...

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Ah crap!

Going to this NTU Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering Information Sharing thing now. I dont mind going down to listen if its not night shift later. AH! HOw am i suppose to stay awake later huh?

ANd i m going alone.

Wa lao eh!!
Dun know of any soul who is going to this thinggy.
I bet everyone's got a partner except edwin!

Its like going to a ballroom dance alone.. hm.. u get wad i mean?
lol.. damn lame la..
and i m going to sit there and listen to the wad ever like a cock.
and eat my buffet alone like some cock.

Its not my idea to attend this thing.
its my parents.. erps..

ahhh!

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Tiring sia.
12 hours at the ferry terminal can kill.
Its another 12 hours tml and i am through!

I feel freaking freaking left out.
It should have been a trio instead of a quartet.

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Watched Ah Long Ptd Lte online.
Glad that i din manage to catch the movie when it was on screen.
Alright.. it is comical but it is low class humor.
I guess you know what i mean.

I m so glad that Lakers won Jazz today.
Yea man.. lets hope they continue winning 2 more games and advance to the next round.
I m hoping they can be the champion this season.
For the noobs who are unaware of wad is lakers or jazz.. these are NBA basketball teams..lol. Yes.. i do follow NBA and PBA(bowling).

The thought of going back to work tml just bores me to death.

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Din blog for 2 days.
Too caught up with work.

7th May 2008

The day i have been waiting for ever since 8th Jan 2008.
we officially passed out as police officers.
Din participate in the parade, went there as spectators.
Everything was cool.
Can see they practiced alot for the parade.

Meet up with squadmates.
Its like meeting up with some good friend you haven been contacting in 10 years.
10 of us went to watch movie.
Totally great.
WHAT HAPPEN IN VEGAS

Highly recommended.
Dont watch it at home alone.. no fun at all.
Watch it in the cinema with a group of friends.
Laugh like crazy.

Really funny.
It has been a long time ever since i watched such good comedy.
Its not some stupid lame comedy.
It has got substance.

Haven felt so relaxed for very long time.
Its like in the 1.5 hrs my eyes were on the screen and only the movie was on my mind.
Its like all the people and stuff ard you just disappear, even all the troubles too.
Cool.. this is what i call a good movie.

Better than iron man.
Iron man has good action but a lousy plot..lol.

Did i mention my squad is the best squad?
Yep.. best in our intake.. looks like all hard work paid off.

somehow i wished i've never passed out.

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Its only 11:36pm and i feel so tired.. argh..
How is work today?
Like dat lor..

Night shift tml should be more interesting.

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Went bowling!

Initially i got lane 16 which was right infront of the entrance. Anws i bowled a couple of frames and decided if i m going to continue to bowl it will not be on lane 16.

The lane has completely zero oil on it. I m seriously serious! ZERO! Was throwing shots way from the left to the right.. it went abt 25 feet and start hooking and went into left gutter.. HUH????? This is crazy la.. even pros cant play on these lanes cuz its a 'spoilt' lane!!

So i asked wad time they are going to oil the lanes. er.. 4 hrs later.. ahHHH! Bo bian.. switched lanes lor..

Then i realised the prob with it being so dry is becuz of entrance.. the hot and humid air blowing in actually affected the lane surfaces. Thats why in televised competitions bowlers face huge problems on the lane because the very warm camera lights acutally affects lane conditions.

guess noone understands wad i m saying.. -.-'

suprises sure comes suddenly and unexpectedly.. thats why they are suprises.
Had 8 consective strikes.. then a stupid open frame!! AHHH!!!
so it was like this X X X X X X X X 7- 9/X = 251
ah crap till the 8th frame i actually tot can get perfect game then the ball just misses arrow by 1 inch and i m gone! Gimme a super big 6-7-10 split! crap..

Was pretty nervous when i got 5 in a row.. like my hands were abit soft.. i took extra long time to prepare shots. Usually i will just grab the ball and go.. sometimes go liao then put the fingers in..lol..

wasted.

also.. suprisingly i manage to average 180.0 in 11 games. wow.. like my hi-average till now. Tot i bowled badly cuz i had a low game of 146.. and had games like 160+ but a couple of 200+ and 190+ saved me.

I believe 180.0 is just some lucky thinggy.. i m not a 180.0 guys more like 160.0

Just hope can keep improving. I am not competing, i dont want/need to win anyone, i am not joining any competition nor am i aiming for any spots in clubs/schools/teams.. just want to be better than what i was everytime i practice.

if only i have this attitude in academics, would probably have gotten all As or smt.. haha..

O.. NTU finally send me a letter to say i got into mechanical engineering which was my choice la. ehs.. now i m thinking if i really wanna go mechanical engineering.. as for NUS my application is still processing.. erps..

super sian.. working tml.. some more i m doing static duty on the second half.. this means ending work late. Probably knock off at ard 9.15pm.

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3 may 2008

survived 30+ hours on 3+ hours of sleep.
Am i pro or what?

Hang out at vivocity for half of the day.
Ironman.. nice action and cool suit.. haha.

I wondered to myself if girls like to watch such movies.
Its kinda like a guy's show.. all action and fights and hardly any romance or good looking guys. Cuz there were a number of female audiences inside.

Cant imagine bringing my gf to watch such shows. What if she doze off or smt.. that is going to be super sian.

There are a million people around me, yet i felt so lonely.

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Heard that i m going to become a Neighbourhood Police Centre Officer (NPCO). hm.. 12 weeks residential training is the tough one. Its like repeating my 14 weeks basic police training again.

The good thing is.. NPCO is not a boring job cuz its damn busy and you get a free driving license.

today one of the regulars said.. 'labour day we still must work.. you know why? Cuz we are not labourers we are slaves! We will only get holiday on Slave Day!' i found it damn funny.. haha..

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Posting is out already but it is on a notice board back in Home Team Academy how am i suppose to check it? lol!

Actually i dont mind any posting. I m just curious.

There's a class outing tml but too bad.. its whole day of work.. so cant go.. AHHH!!!

I m studying some basic search engine optimisation. About optimising a site and making it rank 1st on search engine result pages. Cool right?

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