busy yesterday.
went back to camp collect my stuff, eat graduation lunch, do some admin thing, go woodlands, go home, go orchard, eat, watch movie, chill, miss last train, finally got home..lol.

Made of honor. Not bad.

all of the good friends i know of are going to be coast guards.
so its like saying good bye.
now i am tgt with ppl who i dun really know well yet.
nvm can always make new friends right?

Now chosing btw nus bba and ntu mae.

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My handphone is alittle crazy.. here it goes..

i picked it up this morning just to take a look check the battery and stuff..
so the battery bar indicated that it is still charging. When S.E fones are charing the battery bar will show it moving from empty bar to full bar then back to empty bar and there will be a zig zag lightning sign in the bar right?

well.. it indicates clearly on the phone that it is charging, i have no issues with it except.. i din plug my phone into the charger. I was like uh.. wad???
Since when phones do not need to be plugged in to be charged? wa.. maybe it has an inbuild solar panel or smt..lol.. no.. it kinda screwed up.

But it is interesting though.. haha..

this is damn weird la..
when girls drool and go crazy over guys its normal nothing is wrong.
when guys compliment girls saying they look good, these guys become perverts.
bias right? lol..

O.. my hair finally grows longer. Yea man.. i m so happy, but probably going to get a hair cut soon.. ahHhh!!

this is bad..
so many ppl dying in the cyclone and earthquake.
whats next?
Volcano? Tsunami?
The stories on the news is so sad la.. its like reading a non-fiction tragic story.

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went bowling in the afternoon but dang.. the lanes are full and i have 1.5 hrs till they are cleared. so decided to take a walk at heartland mall. Went to popular, boring.. so went out and walked past a spectacle shop.

Since i have nothing much to do so just went in and get my eyes checked. No short sightedness.. but have wad u called shan guang (Astigmatism) i think thats the english name for it.

according to the guy there it aint bad as long as i can see clearlu, yea i can see fine nevertheless i got myself a spec...lol. choosing specs is the damn hard process. I cant choose stuff for nuts.. like i cant choose food, drinks, clothes, shoes, bowling balls, bags and even girls.

so i asked the counter lady for her opinion.. 'how does this look on me?'

that was how i spend 1.5 hrs waiting for the lane..lol.

u know wad?
dang i m going back to camp tml.
and yeah!! i m booking out tml also.
but i will be going back again on vesak night. ahh.. there goes my sweet freedom.

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not my best week.

Migraine is killing me!!
3 times in 3 days.
Broke the all time record of 1 time in 1 month.

I was mostly in a blur.
as in my vision was a real blur.
like.. i cant see stuff clearly.

Its the migraine symptoms.. plus i believe i need a pair of specs soon.
noticed that my eyes are dying since j2 but can still see words pretty clearly though not as clearly as in sec sch.
Must have been cuz i studied too much.

erps.. more likely to be too much comp.

Just hoping i wont get another attack forever!
Been resting alot at home these few days. cant do much with a stupid headache.

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Been falling sick so i m resting at home.

Had the weirdest dream last night.
My mom force me to marry some unknown girl!!
okok.. read on for details.

In the dream..it all begins when i woke up from bed..
my mom was like.. hey edwin.. you are going to get married today!
Then she make me go to the wedding ceremory.. the one which excanges vow and stuff..
there were like hundreds of people from both families.

I saw all my relatives.. they were so excited.
I was in a blur.. like huh? since when do i have a gf let alone getting married.

Somemore it is a stranger! I have never seen or heard of her in my life.

Then i was thinking if the bride is a nice lady then it shouldnt be too bad la.. right?
So i asked how old is she.
I was told she is born in 1979.
WTF?
10 years older than me?

i was thinking nvm.. as long as she looks young and is nice can liao.
So i went into the ceremony hall and saw her there.
Almost faint.

I was like eh.. u sure she is born in 1979?
She looks as old as my mom sia!!

I was like omg.. why me sia? I dun know her.. why all my relatives and parents force me to marry one old woman???
Everyone acts as if this is a real wedding and nothing is wrong like dat.

Kaoz.. when i was abt to sign the marriage certificate.. i saw her date of birth.. 1969..
AHHH!!! OOMG! She is like freaking 20 years older than me.. enuff to be my mom liao sia!!!

I was thinking of a way to get out or smt without embarassing anyone, including myself. Then i came up with this plan.. marry now divorce later.
Then i woke up with my heart pumping like siao.. luckily it is a dream or i may just kill myself.
Wow man.. it was really a wtf dream.

A few years age gap.. like 2-3 years is ok la..
wa lao eh.. give me 20 years age gap.. siao ah!

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slept for 13 hours.
Pro sia.
Wasnt feeling well yesterday so went to sleep.
Haven been sleeping so shiok since i dunno when.. haha..
woohoo!

Bowled yesterday.
fun. Bowling is always fun.

I was called back for duty la.
But how to go back with a stupid migraine?
Feel damn bad la.. ps my squadmate.

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Sat at there and watched the sea.
12 hours.
The wind was great.

The wind was blowing at 7-9 knots on average (12.9km/h - 16.7km/h).
Super cooling.

Can see marina area across the water.
It was quite far away.
The buildings are smaller than my pinky finger. Maybe just the size of my nail.
Can see the huge ferris wheel too.
The tall office buildings at the city with the ferris wheel looks really good from far.
Especially through the binoculars during the night. All nicely lit up.

The wheel looks good.. it was partially lighted up. Purple colour.. haha..

Then suddenly after coming back from the washroom, i cant see the city anymore.
Wow.. like super blur over there.
It was raining over at the city.
Then the wind picked up.
hit 22 knots (44.7km/h) then a record high of 30 knots (55.6km/h)

It was quite strong.
The plastic chairs started to shift in the direction of the wind after i stood up.
Like some horror movie..lol.. moving on its own.

Then it rain and we were freezing..lol.

Sitting there, watch the sea, feel the breeze can really help to relax.
Alright i m not lazing or wad.. this is my job.. i m suppose to look at the sea..lol.
Good way to destress.. next time stress can go to beach.

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Super tired!

I thought i will be alone in the information sharing session.
Guess wad.. saw a friend.
Such coincidence.
Some more is my squadmate.

What are the chances of seeing a squadmate on a saturday afternoon, who is also doing night shift later, in Mertitus Mandrain Hotel.

This information sharing is like an advertisement. Gives you information about the courses and at the same time advertise the school and try to attract you.

I found aerospace engineering really interesting and are the stuff that i want to study. But unfortunately, my grades aint good enough. They only take 120+ ppl this year.

Alright.. going to work now. Seriously going to collaspe already. It feels like i just arrived home from a night shift, but in actual fact, i haven even start work yet.

15 more hours and i will be back home sleeping...

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Ah crap!

Going to this NTU Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering Information Sharing thing now. I dont mind going down to listen if its not night shift later. AH! HOw am i suppose to stay awake later huh?

ANd i m going alone.

Wa lao eh!!
Dun know of any soul who is going to this thinggy.
I bet everyone's got a partner except edwin!

Its like going to a ballroom dance alone.. hm.. u get wad i mean?
lol.. damn lame la..
and i m going to sit there and listen to the wad ever like a cock.
and eat my buffet alone like some cock.

Its not my idea to attend this thing.
its my parents.. erps..

ahhh!

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Tiring sia.
12 hours at the ferry terminal can kill.
Its another 12 hours tml and i am through!

I feel freaking freaking left out.
It should have been a trio instead of a quartet.

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Watched Ah Long Ptd Lte online.
Glad that i din manage to catch the movie when it was on screen.
Alright.. it is comical but it is low class humor.
I guess you know what i mean.

I m so glad that Lakers won Jazz today.
Yea man.. lets hope they continue winning 2 more games and advance to the next round.
I m hoping they can be the champion this season.
For the noobs who are unaware of wad is lakers or jazz.. these are NBA basketball teams..lol. Yes.. i do follow NBA and PBA(bowling).

The thought of going back to work tml just bores me to death.

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Din blog for 2 days.
Too caught up with work.

7th May 2008

The day i have been waiting for ever since 8th Jan 2008.
we officially passed out as police officers.
Din participate in the parade, went there as spectators.
Everything was cool.
Can see they practiced alot for the parade.

Meet up with squadmates.
Its like meeting up with some good friend you haven been contacting in 10 years.
10 of us went to watch movie.
Totally great.
WHAT HAPPEN IN VEGAS

Highly recommended.
Dont watch it at home alone.. no fun at all.
Watch it in the cinema with a group of friends.
Laugh like crazy.

Really funny.
It has been a long time ever since i watched such good comedy.
Its not some stupid lame comedy.
It has got substance.

Haven felt so relaxed for very long time.
Its like in the 1.5 hrs my eyes were on the screen and only the movie was on my mind.
Its like all the people and stuff ard you just disappear, even all the troubles too.
Cool.. this is what i call a good movie.

Better than iron man.
Iron man has good action but a lousy plot..lol.

Did i mention my squad is the best squad?
Yep.. best in our intake.. looks like all hard work paid off.

somehow i wished i've never passed out.

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Its only 11:36pm and i feel so tired.. argh..
How is work today?
Like dat lor..

Night shift tml should be more interesting.

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Went bowling!

Initially i got lane 16 which was right infront of the entrance. Anws i bowled a couple of frames and decided if i m going to continue to bowl it will not be on lane 16.

The lane has completely zero oil on it. I m seriously serious! ZERO! Was throwing shots way from the left to the right.. it went abt 25 feet and start hooking and went into left gutter.. HUH????? This is crazy la.. even pros cant play on these lanes cuz its a 'spoilt' lane!!

So i asked wad time they are going to oil the lanes. er.. 4 hrs later.. ahHHH! Bo bian.. switched lanes lor..

Then i realised the prob with it being so dry is becuz of entrance.. the hot and humid air blowing in actually affected the lane surfaces. Thats why in televised competitions bowlers face huge problems on the lane because the very warm camera lights acutally affects lane conditions.

guess noone understands wad i m saying.. -.-'

suprises sure comes suddenly and unexpectedly.. thats why they are suprises.
Had 8 consective strikes.. then a stupid open frame!! AHHH!!!
so it was like this X X X X X X X X 7- 9/X = 251
ah crap till the 8th frame i actually tot can get perfect game then the ball just misses arrow by 1 inch and i m gone! Gimme a super big 6-7-10 split! crap..

Was pretty nervous when i got 5 in a row.. like my hands were abit soft.. i took extra long time to prepare shots. Usually i will just grab the ball and go.. sometimes go liao then put the fingers in..lol..

wasted.

also.. suprisingly i manage to average 180.0 in 11 games. wow.. like my hi-average till now. Tot i bowled badly cuz i had a low game of 146.. and had games like 160+ but a couple of 200+ and 190+ saved me.

I believe 180.0 is just some lucky thinggy.. i m not a 180.0 guys more like 160.0

Just hope can keep improving. I am not competing, i dont want/need to win anyone, i am not joining any competition nor am i aiming for any spots in clubs/schools/teams.. just want to be better than what i was everytime i practice.

if only i have this attitude in academics, would probably have gotten all As or smt.. haha..

O.. NTU finally send me a letter to say i got into mechanical engineering which was my choice la. ehs.. now i m thinking if i really wanna go mechanical engineering.. as for NUS my application is still processing.. erps..

super sian.. working tml.. some more i m doing static duty on the second half.. this means ending work late. Probably knock off at ard 9.15pm.

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3 may 2008

survived 30+ hours on 3+ hours of sleep.
Am i pro or what?

Hang out at vivocity for half of the day.
Ironman.. nice action and cool suit.. haha.

I wondered to myself if girls like to watch such movies.
Its kinda like a guy's show.. all action and fights and hardly any romance or good looking guys. Cuz there were a number of female audiences inside.

Cant imagine bringing my gf to watch such shows. What if she doze off or smt.. that is going to be super sian.

There are a million people around me, yet i felt so lonely.

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Heard that i m going to become a Neighbourhood Police Centre Officer (NPCO). hm.. 12 weeks residential training is the tough one. Its like repeating my 14 weeks basic police training again.

The good thing is.. NPCO is not a boring job cuz its damn busy and you get a free driving license.

today one of the regulars said.. 'labour day we still must work.. you know why? Cuz we are not labourers we are slaves! We will only get holiday on Slave Day!' i found it damn funny.. haha..

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Posting is out already but it is on a notice board back in Home Team Academy how am i suppose to check it? lol!

Actually i dont mind any posting. I m just curious.

There's a class outing tml but too bad.. its whole day of work.. so cant go.. AHHH!!!

I m studying some basic search engine optimisation. About optimising a site and making it rank 1st on search engine result pages. Cool right?

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we went for university interview together and got through it. Entered the same course and coincidentally in the same tutorial group. she sat infront of me with her girlfriends. Everytime she turn back to talk or just to pass a piece of paper, i can feel my heart jumping out. Just too excited to listen to lessons.

After everytime she speak to me i will turn to my back and tell a friend in that damn excited tone what she said and stuff. I think you can imgine that. Woah! That friend happen to be Jel..LOL!

How is this possible? Same university? Same tutorial group? Nah.. not possible cuz i will be going into university 2 years later than her. Its only possible in my dreams. YES! What ever i said was what dreamt last night.. haha..

Dreams sort of mirror the real world. In reality i actually told jel wad ever happened and complained to her about wad ever.. so i guess i do that in dreams too.. haha.

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The girl in the photo..

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woah! Probably one of the worst night shifts ever. So tired, cant take it anymore.
We went to check out the haunted Red House at pasir ris area. Din go in, cuz noone knows how to get in..lol.. looks quite erie from outside.

Then checked out old changi hospital again. This is the thrid time i went there in 2 weeks. 2 times in the night and once during the day. The last time we went during the night we had 10 ppl.. this time only 5.. and its more exciting la.

Maybe next time class outing can go there check it out. But must bring powerful torches. If not comfirm will trip and fall over rubbles. The whole ground is full of broken glass pieces, wood splinters, luckily i m wearing boots.

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Look Of The Year

Look Of The Year is an online beauty contest for young people like you from anywhere. To participate, you will need to submit a picture of yourself along with some of your own particulars. You will stand to win USD$10,000. Even if you do not win, you may be discovered by modeling agencies around the world and get a chance to be the next model to work in Paris, New York or Milian.Join Look of the Year today and start your new life together with beautiful people from all over the world. Check it out now: http://www.lookoftheyear.com

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had 2 team mates who called recalled yesterday.
stupid ppl anyhow take MCs!

Sitting there for 6 hours really train my patience. Now i can sit longer and stone longer than ever. I guess next time i can wait up to 6 hours for ppl to arrive before calling and asking if they are coming or not..lol..

went to old changi hospital in the day.. nothing much to see inside. Its actually not scary even if you go at night la. Unless you go alone and without torches.

went geylang. Its damn funny la. One of the girls saw the van come in, she dropped her umbrella and ran as if she saw a ghost.

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Feel like taking part in some bowling competition. Not to win anything.. just to feel the competition atmosphere again. It is a combination of stress and fun. Of course i m not going to take part in some comp that involves bowlers from the whole country. like collegiate league or national age grp champs.. nah.. i will only get pawned. was thinking about in-house comp at hougang superbowl.. but it's either trios or 4some.. ah.. where to find ppl sia??!

Must go back to work tml.
I just cant stop complaining.
i will be happier if working hours are from 8-5 or 9-6.
This is 7am-9:30pm.. crazy..

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hm.. they din call me down so i guess i m not wanted!!
yay for once i feel so happy that i m not wanted..haha.
if they suddenly call at like 11pm i m going to fume..lol.

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i m now waiting for a stupid call from manpower office.
If they need me i must rush back to station and start duty.
Its suppose to be my off day but .. someone took MC .. so.. unlucky me have to cover the empty space.

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went to sleep just now.
and i dream of her again.
This is the third time.

first time was on the MRT.. second was in a chinese restaurant and now it is outside a ballroom.

The dream was quite messy, cant really remember much.. but here is the story..

i was walking out of the ballroom when i saw her at the entrance.

She look very different from the last dream. Slightly tanner, lost alittle weight and have longer hair.

She saw me too, recognised me and smiled.

I looked at her, puzzled. i was thinking.. " This girl looks familar, she is smiling at me.. maybe i knew her last time."

She saw my confused look and was like.. "hi.. i dont think you really recognised me.. we only met once many months ago."

Then i was like.. "orh.. ya! i rmb now"

***

I danced with someone in the ballroom. A girl. I think it was her. It was weird because she was holding on me too tightly. I remember my expression was.. "uh.. what is this girl doing? Why is she hugging my waist like its a hug and not a dance?!"

We danced for quite some time. And i remembered stroking her hair. Why did i do that?
I think i fell for her.

***

It was after the party i dunno where she went after the dance. Thinking that it is late i decided to go home. To my suprise i saw her outside the ballroom again. She was sitting at a corner. I went over just to say bye and realised that she was crying. She was sad.

I kneel down and asked what happened. She did not answer. Tears keep pouring out of her eyes. I felt pain. Why? Maybe because i fell for her. So placed my arms around her just to give her a comforting hug.

She said she din want to go home. It was something about her parents. So i suggested her to stay at my place for the night.

What a long dream. Congratz if u have managed to read until here..lol.

How weird. Someone whom i met several months back and spoke only 2 sentences to can appear in my dreams 3 times. Cant say the first sentence cuz this girl actully found my blog and visits it occasionally but the second sentence is "thank you".. haha..

hm.. maybe i will dream of her again in my next sleep.. haha.

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back from the interview.
Din know how to get there la.. so i looked at the map.
orh.. looks simple.. its along standford rd.
so i got out of the mrt station and !!!!
freak.. where is standford rd?

kaoz.. so just randomly pick a direction and walk.
luckily its the correct direction.. wahaha.

hm..
asked me alot of stuff on police life.
of course i know the answer la.. cuz its my life now..lol.
and asked why i wanna be NPCO.
why i wanna go accountancy.
talk 10-15 mins then say bye bye liao.
wa lao eh.. wake up so early just for 15 mins of chit chat!!!
lets hope they select me.

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what am i going to answer in the interview tml if they ask.. why did u choose SMU Acc? I guess i m going to say.. cuz SMU is nearer to my house than other unis and acc sounds fun..lOL!

The End!

today i was exiled to the sahara desert of singapore.

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Going back to work tml morning.
Feel abit sian.
Just hope i dun get migraine during work again.

SMU interview on thursday morning.. feel super lazy to go.
Its so early and i have to work at night.

Sorry, i love complaining.

I went to the dental this morning just for a routine check..lol.

The dentist said, "so, edwin how long since the last time have you went for a check up?"

then i said," uh.. about 1 year plus?"

dentist: you came for your last check up here right?

me: yup

dentist: It was 4 years ago.

me: LOL!

wow.. thats was when i m in sec 3!

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Things were horrible before the sun rises.
Had 2 migraine attacks in 3 hours.
Cannot take it.
I just any how pop the pills.. but they din work well. grrr!!

Spend the whole night in the van.
Front sit this time.
It was squeezy cuz the equipements around my belt is so bukly and super uncomfortable.
Somemore the van spoil. Must push..lol.
2 consective night shifts my van spoil liao.

Luckily i m able to survive till i get home la.
Then took a couple hours of rest and head down to OCC to watch A div singles.
can never get tired of watching people bowl.

Kinda miss the time i was bowling in A div..that was almost 1 year back. I believe i can do better than last time if i can get a chance to bowl now.. haha.

Then i bowl aft the comp ended. wow.. the lanes are easier than kovan la. Kovan's lane are like bone dry. These lanes still have oil on them.. haha.. lately my average is hitting 160+ sudden improvement.. hm..

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Time crawls!

Today i saw lots of jellyfishes in the sea!
Pink ones.. White ones.. blue ones.. purple ones.. and there are the hybrid ones.. like pink head and blue tails.. i think one of the jellyfish is ill.. cuz it got pokka dots on its head.. haha..

interesting sight..

went to the next station.. good breeze.. then someone came to relieve me for 45 mins.
Had a nice chat. Felt alittle nervous because its a female officer and mainly cuz she share the same name as 'her'.

I din know female regular officers are so fun to talk to..lol.. dont get the wrong idea.. she is old enuff to be my big sister already. Learn lots of things from her.

Then the sun sets and sky turns dark. She left.. and the place is freaking quiet. Seriously noone in sight except for me. Not a single soul. The place is freaky because of the yatch workshop there. Its big.. dark and quite.. booO!

Then i switched on a lamp in the tent la.. and guess what?
All those flying ant insect same zooming into the tent and circle the lights.
Its alright if they want the light.. but they come disturb me!!
argh!!
Fly into my shirt.. like OMG!
Fly through the collar part.. nvm.. fly through my sleeves.. ahhHh!
Not scared of these things la.. but its very itchy..lol.. any how crawl inside.

So i went to the toilet and got rid of them. Then need to tuck in so i took off the belt and everything drop down..lol.. my equipments too heavy la.. haha.

So i came up with a very intelligent way of preventing them from flying through my sleeves. Put rubber band around the sleeves..lol.. clever right but i look like a toot.

I m suprise i patrolled the area in the dark la.. maybe cuz the flies are too irritating to the point that i must get out of the tent.. haha..

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I dont know how to describe my life now.

It is abit messy. Aimless.

What is my goal now?
Finish my duty go home and rest!

i dont have a goal.
There is nothing to work for.
Everything i do doesnt require much brains.

I need a goal or live life aimlessly till i start university. That is like 2 years plus of aimless living. No thank you. I have already wasted 19 years of my life.

oh.. i have a drama to recommend.
I said it before like more 8 months ago but i have to tell this again cuz its like my fav jap drama.

My Boss My Hero!

Watch it at crunchyroll!!

Its the only drama that makes me almost cry even when i watch it for the second time.
What do i mean by almost crying? uh.. the tears are inside my eye.. almost falling out.

dunno leh.. i think most ppl wont feel a thing when they watch it. But somehow i tot its quite heartwarming.. and inspirational. um.. it is about high school life.. geez.. makes me feel like going back and study for 2 more years in JC.

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Lets hope tml is not too unbearable.
Hope its not too humid, not too sunny, not too warm.. but please dont rain!!

i found some way to d/l music online..
i guess some ppl know it.. or maybe everyone knows it except for me.

alright.. i bet u have seen the sidebar music player widget from www.playlist.com. You need the latest RealPlayer Downloader.. and uh.. just hover your cursor over the widget and it will prompt you "Download This Clip" just click on the words and will automatically d/l the song that is currently playing into your realplayer music library.

hm..
dont think this works for www.imeem.com.. but it does work for www.playlist.com .. 1 song takes like 3 sec to d/l.. pretty fast huh.. haha..
go www.playlist.com.. search for the songs you want.. play it.. and d/l it using realplayer d/ler.

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Feel damn lazy to go back to work tml.
It is 14 freaking hours!
Actually it kinda use up the whole of tml already.
look.. i will be sleeping/preparing/working/travelling to and fro from 12am to 11pm before i really reach home.

This gives me 1 hour to use my comp before the day ends.
great.. i would rather stay in camp and enjoy my 6am to 6pm training. When they say its 6-6.. it really 6-6.
Dun have to spend time travelling home.. not much preparation.. and have lots of time in the afternoon to rest. I mean alot of time.

alright.. shall stop complaining.

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i have some ideas on how to make money online but eh.. dare not implement them.
Too scared..lol.
They may just fail and i m going to sit here and cry.. haha..

alright.. i dunno if this idea existed or not but listen..

rmb our school's IVLE.. or some online portal where you can d/l all the adacemics resources? Yea.. it will be cool if we have a centralise place for all students in SG to d/l from.

All schools share their materials on this one portal and students from this school can have free access of materials of the other school. I think it will make learning more effective la.

Currently if wanna get another school's materials must go thru friends.. get the material.. make copies and return. But with this centralised online portal all u need to do is to d/l and print. Yippie!

And with the correct techniques.. the portal webmaster can make lots of $$$$$ la.. no problem.

But.. eh.. i doubt this will be a success la. I mean.. schools dun really like to share resources with other schools right? when it comes to exams they are all bitter rivals.

I have thought of being a photographer. I know my aspirations are damn weird.. i wanted to be a TCM practitioner.. wanted to be a Nurse.. and now a photographer. People all want to be business man.. work in big companies and i wanna be a nurse and photographer..lol.

Not those modelling photographers.. more towards scenery.. i wanna take breath taking scenes.. wa.. thats damn nice la. erps.. you wont understand how i feel de la.. haha..

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Thanks for everything everyone.
Celebrated birthday with the gang in fish&co. and did it the fish&co. style.
How attention seeking it was..lol..
and it was such a conincidence..2 more people in the restaurant also had their birthday today.

Thanks for the gift. It was expected.. HAHA!

and sorry for everything cuz i screwed up.

actually i was about to make an emo post of my 19 years of life but decided not to. Damn lame to do this today.
But nvm i shall do it tml.. haha..

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Happy Birthday To Myself!
Finally turned 19.

Spend the last moments as an 18years old in the police van.
and count down to 19 yrs old in the police van.

Had a pretty cool birthday.
Got to see the night scenes of Singapore.

alright.. we were patrolling.. and went to Old Changi Hospital.
Yea.. the one that is suppose to be haunted.
It looks really scary from outside.. and it's super run down inside.
We walked the interior of the place la.. it was as if a bomb had went off at the place.. glass shattered everywhere.. wooden splinters.. walls full of graffiti..

See nothing abnormal la. Just wrecks and more wrecks.

Then went to Geylang.
Yep.. the place famous for prostitutes.
Can see alot over there la.. all the hotels.. all the girls trying to get business and scrambling away when they see a police vehicle coming. Some even hid behind bushes la..lol.

Next.. visited East Coast Park CarParks.
There is this carkpark which is called the Gay CarPark.
Apparently there are some gays over there la.. waiting for other gays to pick them up.

Then there is this Sex Carpark.
This is the interesting one.
Almost all the cars there have people inside having sex or some other forms of uh.. stuff la..
so we went down and take a look la..
wow.. cant see very clearly la.. but can make out some shapes in the car..
like.. a guy is above the girl.. smt like dat..lol.. its like porn.

Then headed to Changi Villiage carpark.
Famous for all the transvestites (is this the correct term?)
These are men who becomes women after surgical operations.
eh.. dont play play ah.. they are freaking good looking leh.
Even better looking then real girls.
Oh My God!
But the fact that they changed gender makes me wanna faint.

Went on to some ferry terminal and can see the Singapore Flyer from there la.. its freaking far u can hardly see it with ur naked eye but with a high power binoculars.. haha.. it becomes abit clearer.

wow.. and guess what our van ran out of battery.
So we cant start the vehicle la.
had to push start it.
so we had to push the van and try to start it..
first time pushing a stalled vehicle..lol..
some Bangladesh helped us also.. i found it hilarious for some reaosn.. haha.

there.. it comcludes a night of my adventure.
Like the most interesting birthday i ever had in my entire life.

and i m pretty grateful of this NS senior who guided and took care of me for the 13-14 hrs. Learn quite alot of stuff from him.. haha.

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Working the night shift later.
8pm-8am.
but it will be like 7am-10am to be more exact..lol.

Most of the points are really ulu.
Just you and you there.
wow.. scary..

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No such thing as 12 hrs shift.
More like 14.5hrs.. lol.
7am report 9.30pm off.

My job is simple.
Guard the point make sure no wanted man leaves the country.
Guarding the eastern coastlines.

basically there is a tent there.. a table and chair.
Lots of equipments for surveillance and welfare.
Just stick around your point and watch the shores..lol.

I hate being in the van. makes me car sick.

was actually pretty excited abt this whole thing till i draw all my equipments and put them on my belt. My pants is freaking going to drop la. Wa.. i wanna go toilet shit very mafan. Sit down also super uncomfortable.. stand up also very heavy.

My fav point was at the beach.. nice breeze.. but not nice view cuz of the shipyard and jetty there. The ships so ugly..lol.

Then at another point there is this night vision goggles la. Its already like 8pm.. dark already so i used it to look around. pretty cool.. everything was like in green.
Then i look at the sky.. so cloudy and few stars. Used the night vision to look at the sky.. wa lao!! So many small small stars that i wasnt able to see with my naked eye suddenly pop out. wa.. nice sky.

The sky's true beauty is hidden deep beneath.

suppose to end at 8pm but was only picked up at 9pm.. then go back dump all the equipments back to them 9.30 liao lo. tired.. wanna die already.

Sometimes really can bored until u become crazy la. Like talk to yourself.. LOL!

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This is a scheduled post

alright i dunno what to blog about.
dun even know what am i doing now.. haha..

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Hey guys i m back.
suprise suprise.
And i just booked in yesterday.

Alright i m deployed to do duties so.. can go home everyday.
currently at G Division HQ which is at da.. bedok?
that is super far from sengkang.. 1.5 hrs bus ride at least!
Shd have send me to F Division la.

Anws.. the deployment came so suddely that everytime was in a mess.
i packed my bag in a hurry and rush off to Division.
Yea.. got my Warrant Card today!
alright.. its like a very cool card with my face on it. To prove i m a police officer.

O.. i can really seriously carry arms already.. i think.
Like a revolver.. a T-baton.. Handcuffs.. PR Set.. Speed loader..
its going to be freaking heavy. My pants are probably gonna drop..lol.

O.. ok.. what is my duty right?
eh.. sorry.. confidential.. LOL!
jking but its better not to say.

So its going to start tml from 8am to 8pm. Reporting at 630am.. i need a cab to get to HQ. Not possible to rush from SK to Bedok in the morning. 7 am maybe can la.

so its like work 2 days and get 1.5 days rest.. but i guess it will be pretty tough la. 12 hrs shift..

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This is a scheduled post.

I dream of this female friend 2 times already. which makes it the most number of times i dream of a female friend.

The first time i dream was abt 3 weeks back.
We go to the same school la.. so i was on the MRT on my way to school i saw her we said hello and then i went to my seat which was quite close to hers and fell asleep. Then when i woke up she was gone and i miss my stop.

i was like.. arghh.. why din't she wake me up!!

The second time i dream about her was 2 days back. I was having a meal in some chinese restaurant when i saw her come in. The girl in the dream looks alittle different from the real person but some how i know its her la. Then i cant rmb the rest of the dreams..lol.

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Going back in!!
No more test or exams.. yay!!
Drills whole day.. Nooo!!

A friend told me he prefer to be in camp than out of camp.
He said the outside world is just too harsh.
How true.
We are more protected inside.
Concentrate on doing what we should do.
All other troubles and worries aside.

We were telling a female officer that we want to be posted out. Dowan any more training already cuz training is just too boring and unbearable. Then she tell us.. we will miss our training times for sure cuz working outside is tougher and more stressful.

True.
Just like how i miss school.
School is such a controlled environment.
The outside world is an un-controlled environment.
and this makes it harsh.. only the fittest can survive.

O.. today my family celebrated birthday for me.
dun really like to sing song and cut cake =/
and my mom go buy 4D cuz celebrating my birthday today.. last 4 digits of my I/C number and guess wad.. she strike 4D..lol.
Like the smallest prize la.. but better than nothing.
gimme gimme.. lol!

I rmb i was in such a bad mood last year on 17th april..
cuz i turn 18.. and makes so old yet i dun feel old.
well the problem lies with growing up and being more responsible.
Like we have to tink more of the future now.. work.. studies become increasingly important.. blah blah..
good thing abt growing up is can go watch M18 (last yr) and in a couple of years time can watch R21. Yea.. thats all..lol.

Anyways i made a couple of wishes la..lol..

like.. being happy all the time (which is not possible).
Getting good grades.. uh.. for my uni which is like many years later..lol..
being rich.. ok.. i m not money minded but money is indeed important.
um.. being close with all my friends.
eh.. to find the right girl and to have an absolutely happy relationship forever. And this is also not possible la.. where got a relationship no worries and troubles de.

ok.. i will probably be posting some stuff tml or smt.. keep a look out.

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its a good day i must say.
Used it fully la.. alright almost fully.

exercise in the morning.
then slack.
bowling in the afternoon.
came back and went town with cy.
watched movie and just hang around la.

2 guys watching a romantic comedy..lol.
definitely, maybe.
not too bad la.. funny at parts.. touching at parts.
draggy at parts.. lol.

spend the whole day doing stuff la.. one of the more fruitful saturdays i have.

we may be deployed for operations next week. I wonder if they let me carry gun and baton. I haven get my arms card and warrant card yet la but passed my law, shooting and PDT already.

Carrying arms is quite cool la.. but i think the pressure may kill me la. What if people snatch ur gun or baton away. Scary right.. lol. hm.. there is also a possibility that we may just do admin stuff.. boring! Or even not deployed.. omg.. then have to do drills for 3 weeks. Just drills everyday i mean whole day..lol. Thats so tiring la.

O.. i bowled not bad today. Av 173. Like 23 average points above my normal average point that is crazy. Guess i love the lanes today. A screw from my wrist support dropped out and its lost la.. so small how to find. So i was bowling with a super faulty and dying wrist support.. i guess the faulty wrist support accounts for the higher score also..

instead of a slightly cupped wrist i have a straight wrist. Decreased rev.. played simpler line. I love simple outside lines la.. so scored better ba.. haha.. if it din spoil i would have higher rev and will lose control of the hook.

oh blogger launched this scheduled post feature la.. so basically i can schedule a post to be posted on wad date wad time and it automatically post it when the time comes. so i guess i can update the blog during week days also la.. haha.. but must write all the post in advance la. This is a cool feature la.. previously if wanna do this must use wordpress plugins which is too complicated for me la..lol..

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I actually woke up because of a bad dream.
And i was like saying "ahhh ahh ahhh" while sleeping and dreaming.
I know the ahh ahh is coming out from my mouth but cant seem to stop it while dreaming..lol.
and its abt my flaw.
uh.. i dunno if this is classified as a flaw or not. It's a very physical flaw..lol. but anws just classify it as a flaw..haha.

i have decided to kinda accept i m like a screwed up person for the past 18 years 360 days of my life. Being discussed about and stuff but it doesnt matter..lol..
not exactly going to say wad i mean screwed up. dont worry i din pick up smoking or drug abuse or become a gangster.

Went for a jog this morning and then lie there and watch the clouds roll by. I realised that i was pretty pissed yesterday night.

But no worries.. i wasnt angry at any human beings except for myself. Its more like i m pissed with who i m and how come i din realise it. After sorting out some thoughts i realise that its a good thing people tell me now or i may suffer next time.

Initially i was damn unwilling to change cuz i have been like dat for 19 years.. accpet for who i m.. accept my flaws.. dun try to change me..blah blah and all the other crap ran through my head.
Then after thinking for like 8 hours. I tot.. uh.. why dont i change my flaws instead of asking ppl to accept it. I mean no harm trying.. the most just throw everything away and become my old self again right?

so i have decided to accept criticisms with an open mind. cuz criticisms can only improve you. uh.. wad else to say.. so i have decided to do something about it. yea and i accept any form of assistance from anyone.

Of course there are people i have to thank. JH for breaking the news to me.. haha.. i know i m like over reacting, sounds damn pissed, i guess i should apologise for my actions. No worries.. i wasnt angry at anyone except for myself.

And i m seriously grateful you told me. If you like tell me when i m 60 yrs old i m seriously going to get damn angry cuz i live as a screwed up person for 60 years. So its not that bad living with it for 19 years only.

Thank pris also. for offering to help..lol.. but it will be better if u offer to supply me with some.. $$$$$!!

Thank Jel for giving suggestions and listen to my crap the whole night.. like i m just complaining and complaining and complaining.

And Dom also for replying to my compliants.. lol!

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Alright.
I dun exactly like to use the impact word here.
those who doesnt know what i mean by impact word.. it is the F word.
lol.. cuz it makes me look vulgar when i m actually not.
alright i m not a vulgar person.
i dun go saying vulgarities all the time especially when i m outside of camp.
inside camp it is necessary to say some cuz its like a figure of speech.
but sometimes i get so pissed outside if camp that i feel like saying it.
like typing it out here.
but i guess not now.

Alright not in the best mood now.
Dont talk to me or i will bite.
I m actually fuming right now la.. luckily got jel to complain to or i may just die here.
thanks jel.

one month later ppl may just ask me to go for plastic surgery cuz i m too ugly.

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Not exactly the greatest week and the greatest weekend.

monday- sceniro based test
tuesday- police defense tatics test
friday- law exam

PDT test took like 5 hours to finish.
collaspe flat after the thing end at 10pm..lol.

Then studied on wednesday and thursday.
almost died la.. trying to cramp what we learn in 3 mths into my small brain.
but i made it out alive and passed la.. heng sia.

Its like the longest week la.. not exactly looking forward to friday cuz the law exam is on friday. so for once.. i dun look forward to book out day.. haha.

geez.. some ppl just love to win through ugly methods la.
i will feel damn shameful if i do that.
god.. robbed others of their rightful award through underhand means..
first time i come to witness such stuff la.
welcome to the real world where noone can be trusted.

oh.. i have another bunk mate who sleeps talk..
he shouted stuff abt killing something..lol!!
scary huh?

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All of us.

Me!!

Stole these pictures.. haha.

sian.. i m going in now.
See you on friday.
Dont keep checking back on my blog from monday - thursday cuz there will not be any updates.. haha.

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Went to bowl ytd at OCC with carrot.
I like the lanes, alot better than hougang superbowl lanes.

Then went to clarke quay with JiaHui, ZX, Jelly, Feline, Zinc and Toy. Hit the club at around 10pm. New experience, i think its pretty fun, thats if you know how to get into the fun.

Drank and dance. Or maybe its call shake instead of dance according to jiahui's definition of what most people are doing.

Smoove is the coolest room at MOS. Nice music and nice lights. When you are on the dance floor enjoying yourself, brushing past strangers, coloured lights flashing everywhere, everything seem alittle messy, music blasting so loudly that it shook your whole body... every trouble in life seem to disappear instantly. I found this feeling very shiok. scary huh?

ya well.. we were pretty enthu on the dance flr except for maybe 2 wooden planks standing beside us. Otherwise everything else is cool.haha!

oh ya.. we din manage to do our friendship dance insdie.. LOL!

Now i know why guys always wanna pick up girls at club. Cuz everyone looks better in the dim, smokey, noisy, messy environment. All girls will have make up and wear a good looking dress, all guys will have their hair done and looking cool.

I was telling jel, even i look better inside..lol! Too dark cannot see my face.. hahahaha!

Left the place when its close to 3AM. I was pretty tired already, from everything. Then took bus 6N with jelly back to punggol. The bus took super long to come and the journey was super long too. But at least we have bus to get home.. haha.

Reached home when its close to 5AM. Yea.. bathe and fall asleep. zZzZzzZ!

Going back to camp in 5 more hours. This is the last busy week for everyone. Last 3 test/exams and we are through.

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I had a bunk mate who sleep talk to himself a few nights back.
he was shouting "one more lap! one more lap!"
probably dreaming that he was running or swimming.. haha.

We went for a 15km run outside HTA, around the agriculture farms.
wow.. i kinda like that place.
so quite.. all trees.. far away from civilisation.
Peaceful.
maybe next time i can become a farmer.
haha.

Pris was asking me what i want for my birthday.
Then i rmb my birthday is coming.
I m going to be 19 soon but i feel like a 15 yr old!!
nvm.. young at heart.

After giving some tot about what i want right..
those stuff i want cant really be bought.
I want WORLD PEACE!
ok just kidding.. but i hope that the world can be a peaceful place.

Um.. i want to be always happy.
Like forever happy.. nothing can make me sad even the most crude remarks cant make me frown.

I wanna be a better person.
Not that i m not a nice person now=P
but there is always room for improvement.

I want to have lots of friends.
Want to have buddies who can go through thick and thin with me.

I want to be more patient, calm and cool even in the most frustrating situation.
This kinda apply when i m bowling.
Get pissed too easily.
Will talk abt this later.

I want to find the right girl.
This is probably going to take forever.
I seriously think i cant get married next time.

well.. got lots of other stuff i want but money cant buy them =(
maybe i should wish for them before cutting the cake..lol.
But they nv come true.. haha.

Alrigh.. talking about bowling.
i really suck at the sport la.
hopeless.
but cannot blame right.. got no coach.. haha.. excuses!

Found it very hard to keep cool while bowling.
I get damn frustrated de.
I m frustrated at everything i do while bowling.

I get irritated when..

1) I din strike
2) I strike
3) I din hit the pocket
4) I hit the pocket
5) I spare
6) I din spare
7) I lose my balance
8) I din win the stranger bowling beside me
9) There is a noob stranger bowling beside me
10) When people challenge me

basically i get irritated at everything.. hahaha.. so my face will look damn fierce.. like grrrrr!!!
"I will eat you up if you come close to me!!!"

Alright.. let me explain the above 10 points..lol.
I feel irritated when i strike but its an ugly strike.
As in the pins din fall down nicely.

I feel irritated when i hit the pocket but pin 7 and/or 10 are still standing.
Like ahHhhHH!!
Good shot but bad luck.

Irritated when spare pins but its an ugly spare.
Means the ball nv hit the center of the pin la.. it just hit the sides.

Lame.
I complain too much.
Expect too much from myself..lol.. i m no pro.
just an ordinary noob.

This is a freaking long post huh?
Congrats if you have not fall asleep reading it!!! =P

whats wrong with my internet man.. keep on d/c-ing.

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The junk i eat for 5 days 5 nights while in camp. yummy! That explains why i grow so fat.. haha! The 2 packet of biscuits on the left is super delicious. Ought to try them out. Rmb the brand "HIT!" Digestive is good for filling up your stomach. 3 pieces and 250ml of water can replace breakfast. Chewy is nice esp when you need to snack in class. The small orange cracker and prawn cracker are for snacking while day dreaming in the bunk.

The class blog have been dead for like 9 months and i finally updated it with some pictures just now. so go take a look.. haha!

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Good old days.

Next week is pretty tough. 2 swimming lessons, 1 defensive tatics lesson and lots of scenario base test revision. Darn.. we even have night classes. Exams coming.. what to do?

Some day when i become a millionaire i will want my own house with my own swimming pool, bowling alley, games arcade, maybe a billard room (with billard tables inside of course), my own garden.. Maybe i will migrate.. but maybe not.. unless everyone i know migrate with me. LOL! stop day dreaming edwin!

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Tranquility.

Hang out with some NS mates yesterday. Chilled at Bukit Timah.. its super far away from sengkang too almost 2 hrs to get back home. Good fun anyway. Cant find my USB cable.. post the pics some other day.. haha.

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Very nice right?

Birds!

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Red autumn leaves.

Pretty cool week.
My arms almost dislocate while learning unarmed tatics.
Armlocks really kill the arm.
We had to do armlocks on each other and it is super painful.
It is suppose to be painful la.
Armlocks are fine.. then we learn armlock + takedown.
so basically its just armlocking the person and slam them onto the ground.

Swimming!
I think i got tanner.
The morning sun was glaring down at us.
Got super big blisters while doing the warm ups.

Hm.. we got punished and did 400 counts of 4 jumping jacks.
alright.. 400 counts of 4 doesnt seem alot to you but seriously.. it is some pretty huge numbers ok.
I rmb the second day of enlistment.. almost all of us collaspe before the 100th mark.
Being able to complete 400, still standing up and ready to do more is quite an achievement. I was actually quite happy that i completed 400. The sense of achievement.. haha.

Some stuff happened but.. blah blah.. better not say it here.

The week past super fast.
I woke up today and was like.. 'oh.. its friday already. I tot it was monday ytd.'
and like 'orhh.. book out lor.. nothing special anymore.'
I think i feel more excited booking in than booking out..lol.. i was actually happy to book in last sunday because staying at home was so boring.

Sad.. 2 bunkmates are leaving us.

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Cant believe the weekends just passed so quickly.
The only productive thing i did was going to the dance concert and signing up for universities.
Should spend my time more wisely next time.

Time to start studying.. or i will fail my law exams!
Its on 10th April i think.. 2.5 weeks to study dunno how many hundred sections of penal code, criminal procedure code.. blah blah and all the other codes which i can hardly rmb. It's 150 qns of MCQ. MCQ? u think it is easy? Need 105 qns correct then can pass ok.. and the answer all so similar.

This weekend abit sian.. stay at home for most of the time.
I must go out on the next weekend.. staying at home makes me feel blue..lol.

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AJC Open House 2006. Time really flies. That was when we were younger and i have longer hair. I m happy that they start to let us grow our hair now.. muhahaha!! Studying in school is so much more fun then learning how to be a police.

It was full moon yesterday. Or at least the moon looks quite round. Beautiful. I rmb last month in camp I woke up one night thinking someone switched on the light but it was actually the moonlight shining on my face through the window. I sleep right beside the windows.. haha.

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I wont mind living in places like this.. haha.

Had the weirdest dream last night.

Booking in soon, dunno if i should be happy or sad.. lol.

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New York Fashion School

Interested in studying fashion? Why not study fashion in New York Fashion Schools? Currently featured fashion schools in New York are Katharine Gibbs School, The Art Institute of Pittsburgh and Westwood College Online. What will you stand to benefit from studying in fashion schools New York? you can witness first-hand, fashion being experimented upon, accepted, rejected, and everything that comes in between, develop, analyze, and implement sales strategies and business, marketing, consumer behavior, retail management and more!

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Stared at the computer screen for the whole day.
Nothing much to do.
Lazy to sign up for university.
No good quality movies to watch.
All the movie qualities are so bad now.
Laggy frames and lousy sound quality.

Ran out of ideas to write my articles.
Have been pretty fustrated lately.
darn.. need to squeeze some articles out of my head or i m dead.

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XiHu, China. Dec 2007. Could have sat there and looked at it forever.

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Nothing much happened on good friday.
whats so good about fridays then?
not exactly in my best mood cuz i m sooooo ultra bored at home.
only have my computer to accompany me for the day.
nothing nice on the teevee.

Did i mention i passed my shooting?
yippie!
1st class in shooting.
sounds cool right? But its 1 level below marksman..lol

Still thinking of which courses to apply for.
The more i think, the more i feel my grades suck.
darnN!

Was good friday also "change my blog address day?" HAHA!
coincidentally i know of 2 ppl who changes their blog address yesterday.

Suddenly there is this familar feeling within.. and i know trouble is coming again.

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I guess i dont know how to appreciate dance performances.
Perhaps it wasnt to my liking.
The dance itself is alright but the music are usually so sad, emo, plain...
make me bored sia.
Only liked the part with the joyful music.. haha.

Went to have supper after the concert. Yum..

Long break ahead!
but i dunno what to do with all these extra time.
i guess everyone is quite occupied with some stuff or other except for me!!
so i will most probably be trapped at home for the rest of the week.

she walked away before i can call her name

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Left with 8 weeks before p.o.p.
woohooO!
Shooting test next week.
please let me pass!!!!

It is going to be a short week.
3.5 days and it will all be over.. woOhOo!
want to go to AJC dance concert but.. uh.. they are going to release me too late.
Cant make it in time.
darn!

Looked at the tv listing for Good Friday. Hm.. lots of holiday movies..
it has been like 6 months ever since i sat down nicely to watch a movie on tv.
shall wake up 630am on good friday morning to watch all the tv i want.
muhahaha!

Alright time for me to book in!!

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600th post!

Happy belated birthday pris.
Gang outing to clarke Quay today.
Went to Pub.
Songs wasnt exactly to our liking but the drinks were good.
Ate LJS and talked at riverside.
cool.. i love sitting down and enjoying the night breeze.

Still pondering alot about the courses.
Wonder if what ever i pick is relevant next time.
Practical? Thats the biggest question.

Next week is going to be a short week.
Book out on thursday evening.
woohoo!
Then there isnt any public holidays in april..zzz..
must wait till 1st May for labour day.. ahhHhHh!!!
But i guess i can survive.

No more lung infection.
I guess the antibiotics actually worked..haha.
so i can go back to exercising and playing basketball.
YAY!!

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Thats me in the rain coat. It has been raining so much lately that we are using the rain coat almost everyday. I know the rain coat is abit oversized..lol.

During a break in class. Do i look smart in the uniform? Haha!

Me eating and reading papers on my bed at night. I m forever snacking.. haha!

Guess what they are looking at? wooohoo!! Erm.. my AJC Year Book!!

Life is really good now. Spend quite some time thinking and reading about university courses and have finally picked a few which i think is suitable. Been on Light Duty for quite some time. cant exercise cuz of the lung infection thing. Been snacking like crazy.. so i guess i m growing fat now. ahHhhH!!

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Feeling pretty weak.
I guess its the medicine.
worried that i will not be able to do the usual stuff.
feel super sian about going back with a weak body.

Left with 9 more book in including this one.

stupid sunday blues.

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We were playing charades in a blk 10 classroom. Look at me and my big mouth! haha!

Me and my little online business have recently ran into some minor setbacks. I m at a loss of what to do, how to carry on and stuff. zzz.. everything is in a mess.. urgh..

alright.. its now the time to decide on which course to take and which university to apply for. i guess we should apply based on interest, but the problem is.. i dun really have any interest for anything that is academic.

all the engineering thinggy sounds so boring. Business? sciences? nah i dun have brains to do that stuff.

Nursing does sounds nice actually. I know u r going to think i m crazy or smt.. but i think medical staffs are damn cool cuz they help to take care of ill people ok.

alright.. give me one week to think about it. going to read up on the courses during my free time in camp. My law test is in 3 weeks and i haven study yet.. ah crap!

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Issit called inflammation or infection of lungs?
dunno.
either one la.. i got it in my right lung.
damn.. no more exercising for me.
no more basketball!! NOO!
i m forever falling sick.

2 more days to p.o.p for friends in SAF.
2 more months to p.o.p for me.
other than going to bowl i din go out today.

was looking through the class photos we took over the 2 years.
cool stuff.
i looked much better back then.
face was abit fatter and hair was much longer.
sigh.. i miss school.

yep i still remember all the captain's ball games we used to play after our morning PE and go to math lecture with sweaty shirts! And all the lame but enjoyable meals we eat together everyday. All the stupid qns that hock ask during GP. and so much more.

looking back, i can hardly remember any sad moments. i know there were but i cant remember them. all i can rmb is the happy moments in school. such beautiful memories, i want them to be with me forever.

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I must say Edwin is a lucky man.
Freak when the principal say that there is 5% ppl failing GP i tot its going to be me. I was like.. DAMN! I just want an E please!! And i m lucky enough to pass GP. Phew!

At first sight of the result i felt a sense of relieve.
like heng ah.. then after 10 mins i was like 'damn.. not too good huh?'
alright not here to brag abt my scores cuz its not good..

GP: D
Econs (H1): B
Physic (H2): A
Maths (H2): A
Chemistry (H2): B

Alright i m truly gald i passed GP. And even more glad that its a D.
Econs was a suprise cuz the school econs grades were really in some big mess last year. I thought physic was alright..

Maths is the biggest miracle in my entire 18 years of life. I think edwin is really lucky sia.. i rmb getting U for math in prelims and was like screwed by A levels paper 1. I tot its going to be an E or smt. I seriously dunno how i jumped from U to A its like a miracle.

Yep chem is a disappointment.

And this grade aint cool after people show me theirs. Wow its like so many ppl have triple As or even 4 As.

Alright.. i m content with this already shant ask for more. seriously need to thank god for this.

watched 10,000bc after the results. cool.. just that the ending is so predictable.. it became so boring. otherwise all the actions are quite exicting.

dang.. my cough cant recover.

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I still feel abit sian about going back.
Yes i know, edwin complains about it every sunday evening.
cant help it.

Results this friday.
dang.
I think they are going to release us on friday noon instead of thursday evening.
sian.. thursday evening is so much better +D
damn now i m worried.

I have this really bad cough that doesnt recover.
Irritating.

too lonely.
too empty.

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went vivo with dom. yep onli the 2 of us.
and guess wad movie we watched.
The Leap Years!
omg.. we are gays!
2 guys watching some romance movie.

Waned to watch Juno initially but no good seats available so we settled for Leap Years. First time watching romance movie for both of us.. some more watching with a guy..lol.
anyways, i was expecting it to touch me and make me cry or smt..
disappointing.
The 1st hour was nice.. then it got boring.
some parts were touching and sad but it wasnt so cool over all.

And dom stayed over and we talked till 4 am before falling asleep..lol.

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i see the police notice on the escaped JI fugitive everywhere sia.
In the shopping mall, in the mrt station, in the train itself, in the bus stop blah blah..
clever huh.. instead of sending a few hundred security personnels to search for the escaped guy they manage to get 4 million people to hunt for 1 person.

A levels result is coming out soon.
Time to get worried.
Time to regret all that i have done and not done.
Time to think of the future.

So many 'what ifs' comes out of no where.
The biggest 'what if' is.. 'what if i cant make it?'
aiya.. heck it.. i m looking forward to A lvl results release day.. so i can BOOK OUT one day earlier.. yay!!

alright.. i feel quite bored this book out.
feel so so so empty inside.
argh!!

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stupid cough!
next time i will invent a cough syrupt that can cure cough instantly!!

alright, just came back from chalet.
CHALET?
yea.. i mean back from camp.
life is pretty easy there, its like a 5 days 5 night chalet.

9 more weeks and i m out of chalet!

This world is a dark place.
where people smile at you infront and gossip behind your back.

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Going back in.
No sunday blues.
Life inside is easy.
Listen and execute.

I just want my freedom.
10.5 weeks more to p.o.p.
then probably another 10 weeks inside for block 2 training.

Just randomly mentioning.. if u dont like any part of me.
just shoot.
only apply to people i care.
for all whom i dont call buddies.. go away.. haha.

sadness.

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Watched "L change the world" with the gang today.
wow.. cool movie.
L was damn funny.. and quite sad that he have to die in the end.
ok so this is probably the end of all the DeathNote episodes?
or maybe there is more? lol..

Right.. nice talk we had today.
I think such talks are quite important.
cuz it allows us to reflect on ourselves and change wad ever that needs to be changed.

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went bowling in the morning.
wow got 2 schools training there so no space..lol.
so i watched and wait for them to end.
wah.. got this shiok feeling when all 10 pins go down.
its like super shiok sia.. feels probably like high on drugs.

wah.. i tot i can set my high game today lehs.
had 6 consective strikes in the first 6 frames.
but in the end onli got 255 -.-''

x x x x x x 8/ 8/ x x9/

wa.. everyday eating junk food sia.. i m getting fat..lol

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This week isnt so bad.
Time really flies sia.. like bOoM and its friday already.
How fast.
ok my shooting really suck man and i dread live firing.
The gun goes like bAnG!!! and i jump.
kns.. i m even afraid of a balloon poping beside my ear let alone a stupid .38

i think i m crazy.
Cuz just now i went exercising once i got home.
omg i m crazy.
cant help it la.. i feel guilty of not putting in effort when everyone else is trying to get better results.

heard that A lvl on 7 march dunno how true it is..lol..

Her name was suddenly mentioned and everything came back.

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about 120 hours before i can step into my house the next time.
i feel sad about going back..
i know i said this 10 million times already.. but i still feel sad about going back..lol
7pm to 830pm is my most emo time of sunday.. i should be alright after stepping into the place.

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Back from JiaHui's house.
Din plan to stay over night but we ended our blackjack and bridging at 3am.. so.. we stayed at last.
wow man.. i won $10 plus at blackjack and bridge. Slow process cuz the bet is only 50 cents at a time. Quite fun..lol.. ting ah hock won like 20 plus dollars.. haha.

super tiring. haven sleep for 24 hours already. The sp and ys is super powerful sia.. they went to work after leaving jiahui's place. omg sia.. i may just die if i have work.
the sunday blues are coming again.
i m going back in soon.. sian!!!

I keep complaining about having to go through 17 weeks of basic training while army only go through 10. Thats almost double. But our training is relatively easier than army.. of course. we have no field camp, no route marches blah blah. but having to stay 17 weeks makes me sian too..lol.

I get sianner each time i book in.
alright..about 11.5 more weeks to go and i m out.

i was hoping that the results will be out on 22nd feb which is this coming friday so i can book out earlier. Super sian sia.. and i m looking forward to good friday on 21 march cuz we get to book out 1 day earlier too. cool man.. and sadly there are no public holidays on april..zzz.. but luckily there is Labour Day on 1st May! and its passing out on 7th may! yay!!

thats like still so long..zz..

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81 more days to P.O.P!
woohooOo!
Its slightly over middle of this month and i made USD $10 till now.
Hope to hit the USD $20 mark.. haha.

O! Did i mention we went for an excursion to police heritage centre 2 or 3 weeks back?
Interesting stuff there.
And yesterday guess where we went?
Mosque at bishan, Hindu temple and Buddhist temple at chinatown and chruch at cityhall area.
yea man.. we had a racial harmony national education trip!
its like the 4th time i am on such trip..lol.
makes me feel like i m still a student in back in school on an excursion trip.

alright.. i have nothing to do on saturday morning and afternoon.. sian..
but there will be a class dinner in the evening.. yay!

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AH! I m back!
Good week it was.
Time really passes so quickly.
Just last week, time passes so slowly while in camp.
But it flies this week.

After everything.. i learnt some valuable lessons.
We should take everything with an open mind and accept facts.
Dont indulge yourself in sorrow and tears, for it only makes your life more miserable.
Move On!
This is what we all should do.
i have never been so enlightened in my entire life until now.

Now i know why God gave me this obstacle.
It is for me to learn some valuable lessons.

i took my first Individual Physical Proficency Test (IPPT) on monday and passed it.
It was the 4th time for others but the first for me..lol.. i was exempted from the first 3 and i tot i cant pass my first one.
weaker stations are Standing Board Jump and 2.4km.
I cant jump or run for nuts.
221cm and 11:23min onli.. i need to reduce by 2 mins to get Gold la.
ok.. my next target is getting silver la.. so i need 4cm for SBJ and 1 more pull up.. haha..

wah! so nice to be back home!

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Let me read all the messages.
Look at all the pictures.
Think of all the happy times.
One last time before these memories cease to exist.
How painful to say goodbye to all these good memories.

and of course lets not spoil this friendship as well =)

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Sunday blues.
Ever heard of them?
Monday blues are more common.

Soon i will be back inside.
I miss the taste of freedom.
How lonely it is to be kept in a 'prison'.

Nothing to look forward to.
Except for going home and sitting infront of this computer.

and i said i m alright.
blatant lie.
only those who have gone through will know
how it felt to be eaten up from inside alive.

now that i m not thinking straight..
kinda scared that i may do wrong stuff inside..
purely mistakes of course.. not deliberately..

failures?
Been there.. tasted it and came back alive.

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How did those words came out of my mouth?
Regretted alittle right after i said them.
How selfish can i be?
compromising years of friendship just for my own.
Just so that i can get over and be done with.
Move on and dont look back.

And when those words came out of my mouth.
i know i m ready for anything.

and indeed.. 6:13pm i was excuted yet again. while typing this post.
There was no pot of gold, no rainbow nor diamonds right at the start.
ignore my sad words and tears please.
I need no sympathy nor pity.

Though pain will last for awhile its better than lasting forever.

Two less lonely people in this world and one more heartborken idiot.
It does sound sad initially but think of it this way..
its better to have 1 lonely person living than to have 3 lonely souls right?

no need for sorry or sorries..
all i need is a promise ..
to treasure what you have.
cherish and love like you never had.

and so its time to move on into the next chapter of our lives.
I give you my most sincere blessings and best wishes.
May happiness be with you forever.

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Playing around with blog templates.
Like finally i dont have to rely on people to change and edit templates for me.
i can do it myself now.. wahahha!!
This template not bad right?
I like it to be plain and simple =D

I felt so nice when a friend came and ask me if i was alright or not.
cuz i sound super depress in my blog.
Guess who it was?
Jayne!
haha.. never talk to her in quite some time already.
Thanks for your concern!
Tough times dont last, tough man do.
No winter last forever. No spring skip its turn.
It will soon be over and everything will be back to normal.. haha!

counting down to my passing out parade on 7th may. The countdown timer shows 87 days more.. sian.. all those that i went out to during CNY eve is passing out in early march.. and i m passing out only 2 months later.

O.. i realise i m a shy person. ok i know u all are going to be like "huh? Edwin is shy? My foot!"
hey.. lets be serious ok. I m quite a shy person, especially when it comes to talking to females that i dont really know well ok. even on msn! like Oh My God!

Meeting the gang in like 9 hours time. Yea.. its going to be cool.. haven got a gathering in quite some time already.. haha!

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I hardly gamble.
but ytd i was so sian that i played blackjack with 10 other people i hardly know.
and so a profit of $10 at the end.
uh huh.. so what?
what can i do with $10?
anyone wants me to treat them out to dinner next week? haha!

Going back into camp tml.
abit sian, but i have got to do what i got to do.
haha.. 1 month down, 3 more months and i m through.

huh?
why do i feel so numb?
i cant feel a thing now.. good i guess..
i cant feel happiness but its ok, because i wont feel sad as well.

For all of the saddest words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these "it might have been."

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who will be online at such hours. 4.00am.
Just back from visiting.. lol..
had some fun with those cousins of mine.
As usual we play sports, then word games and sit down to chat.
How time passes.. we used to be playing catching but we out grew those.

i m going to be 19 in 2 more months, yet i feel like a 15 yr old.
my thoughts are probably still super immatured.. i guess.
oh gosh.. i m turning 19 soon and i m still not ready to bear responsibilities for myself.

and so they said.. go for it! Go for it! Try or you will regret! Try and there will still be hope!
Hope?
I dunno what it means now.

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:Happy Chinese New Year!
I hear this everywhere i go.
people shaking my hands, giving me red packets asking me to stuff myself with new year goodies.
i just paste one fake smile on my face to hide that sulky look.
Whats so happy abt the new year?

I rmb last cny i was also in some shitty situation. But at least i can communicate with that person and sort stuff out. This time i m also in some shitty but i cant communicate with that person now.. cuz that person dun even know abt anything.
great!

I was quite stubborn like a few weeks back.. refusing to accept the fact.. refusing to believe what is happening. But now i accpeted it graciously and believe it trufully. We cant change wad we see, what we hear and wad is true. And i m begining to convince myself that we are not fated to be.. and trying to accept it graciously. So at least when i die, i die of a less painful death.

Every where i go.. on the tv.. newspaper.. radio.. internet.. they all talk abt VALENTINE'S DAY! VDAY IS COMING. Fuck it la (sry for the vulgarities).. fuck vday la.. i m still in camp and i bet my life they will be dating. I bet my life sia.. now u know how sure i m. fuck sia..

now u see me saying fuck here and there.. actually i m not being pissed or wad.. just trying to imply that " i m so sian abt this".

"but if u don try, you are mising all the chances" from some random conversation..
i always believed in this. Always. Until now.

u made it clear today.. there was no chances to start with.

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i wrote this when i was pretty depressed..
its suppose to have a melody but nvm i cant sing it out..

Cry Inside

Beside me we walked in the rain
you said his name
with that sweet smile.

inside me there was this pain
aching through my heart
breaking me apart.

oh how you said his name
and smile like a little child
oh how be brought that sparkle
into your beautiful eyes
i can only look and cry inside.

Beside me stood an angel
oh how beautiful
if dreams can come true.

Inside me i know that we are
oceans apart
i cant reach you.

and now i look into your beautiful eyes
i can only see him in your eyes
i can only look and cry inside.

basically describing my feelings over this. I dare not sing this song again.. cuz it hurts especially when it comes to the last part.

"valentine's day is coming. For some reason i felt like giving her a pair of tickets and ask her to go to the movies with him" - Tuesday 05 Feb 23:15

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Back from the class cny countdown at chinatown.
wow.. fire crackers were really loud.
the others went for movie while ys and I went home..lol.
tired sia..
tired of everything.

i told a friend abt wad happen recently and she said i m quite suay.
indeed i m quite suay.
where got this type of thing will happen de.
so many times some more.
piangs..

what a way to start my lunar new year.

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freedom never tasted so sweet.
wow its like 4 days of holiday.. omg!

Have been ill since 2 weeks ago.
coughing like crazy.
everyone is ill actually, there is some virus spreading around.

I constantly thanks god that they put me in the police force, cuz life is definitely much easier in police than in army.

yea.. i m going to bowl later!
wow it has been 1 month since i bowled la.
must be super rusty liao.

i guess i feel abit better now.. cuz i m sick and weak till i can hardly think when i m in camp.
feel rather heaty in my body.. like i m going to get a fever or smt.

beside me stood an angel, oh how beautiful if dreams can come true

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for some reason it gets more painful with each passing second.
i thought i had it under control.
i was wrong.

i cant remember when was the last time i cried.
it feels good to tear again.
who says a guy cannot cry.
i teared my sorrows out, but they came back to haunt me after awhile.

i have so much to say yet no words can express how i feel.
nothing i do can be seen by you.
nothing i say can be heard by you.
i m just invisible to you.

it just became unbearable.
someone ease my pain.
please.

"oh how you said his name and smile like a little child.
oh how he brought that sparkle into your beautiful eyes.
i can only look and cry inside" - Cry Inside

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"And now, i look into your beautiful eyes.
I can only see him in your eyes.
I can only look and cry inside." - Cry Inside

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now that i sit here and think of everything.
the more i think the more painful it is.
i just cant escape from reality.
its just a matter of time when there are 2 less lonely people on the world and 1 more heartbroken guy.

when i turn around and look,
your shadow is all that is left.
soon it will be gone too,
and memories is all that i have.

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we got lost at sentosa..lol.. its seriously very dumb.
then went back to vivo.
ate and watched Sweeny Todd.
Initially i thought it was a screwed up movie because of all the singing.. but i got used to it after that and it was pretty nice actually.
M18.. and pris was pretty happy when they requested to check her I/C cuz it means she still look young..lol.
Sweeny Todd.. good movie.. but not everyone will like the singing parts but go watch if u can.

o yea.. my mom told me my face look slimmer and i din believe until i see my own pic. its like omg.. so ugly.

* * * * * *

One man's joy is another man's sorrow.
How true.

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Don ask why onli got 2 ppl in all the pics. cuz there are onli 2 ppl there..lol.

Us on the monorail to sentosa.

Us at one of the beaches.

On the bridge.

Top of the tower. Nice breeze and view.

At some sentosa resort..lol. and we got lost all the way after that.

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i just took my cough syrupt, my flu tablet, my phlagm tablet and my antibiotics. And now i just feel like sleeping..lol.. how am i suppose to go out later?

have been coughing like siao for 1 week plus.. everyone there is actually sick or injured in one way or another. Cough being the most common illness. I have not take junk food in like so many days and not planing to take any.. or else all the exercise will be wasted.. haha.

damit i m still so flabby sia..

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My income for jan 2008.. USD $ 20.79.
$19 came from writing advertorials and $1.79 came from adsense.
Hm.. good progress i think.

"Late at night at times like this it hurts the most. I cant sleep till she reply.." -Tuesday 29th Jan 2998 22:51 @ HTA on my bed.

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one just cant escape from reality.
i thought 5 days away was an escape.
and i thought once i am out this nightmare will be over.
sadly i am wrong.
it haunts me everywhere i go.

"My Passing Out Parade is on 7th May. I hope she will be here to see me in my blue uniform. She will be here not just as a friend but as someone special. However such possibilities are diminishing with each passing second" - Thursday 30th January 2008 22:34 @ HTA on my bed.

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